he said he saw the pictures i sent him,
he asked "how do you feel? ".
i said FANTASTIC.
he asked what kind of test would i like ??
i asked what kind of test do they do after radiation?
doc : CT scan or PET scan
me :: i'm not having another PET scan
doc:: the CT scan is less "invasive" & it can tell if your cancer has spread, you can set it up anytime.
me :: ok, i will get back to you soon... click
not one question about "how did you do it " , just THE question - how do you feel?? so how i feel must be a measuring device . and "what kind of test would you like?" .. $$ for them
alright,, i feel great and have felt super, since my diagnosis and DIET change... i feel great ,, better than great - actually..
according to me ,, and most people,, if you FEEL GREAT , and have no "issues" - as in open wounds, broken bones, skin flare ups, grapefruit size tumors, ya don't go to the doctor.. you feel great , what is the doctor gonna tell you ? - keep up the good work.
when i was first seeing the cancer doc's , on my first visit , the Nurse was going through my medical history & current health status..
how do you feel ? - GREAT, but i am at the cancer center..
do you take any medicines ? NO
any health issues ? NO
headaches ? no
ringing in the ears ? no
night sweats ? just my neck .. really
pains ? NO
street drugs ? NO
alcohol use ? NO
sleep troubles ? NO
and a few more Q's all solid NO 's !!!!
heart rate ( at the cancer center ) 64 bpm
she then asks .. are you some kind of athlete ?? - comedian
then she says .. What are you doing here ?
i point to my tumor -- this ...
so How do you feel ? seems to be an important question
when i had the flu two weeks ago , i felt like crap , i knew it was the Flu , and it was gonna take so many days , and be gone .. some people said GO TO THE DOCTOR !!! ,, and i was like "so they can say go home and rest , here's some anti-biotics, how about a flu shot ?? " no thanks ...
i don't think doctors are gods ,,, some of them DO , just ask the Nurses,, ,, but not me
the doctor's "opinion" , might be WRONG , "let's TRY this" is not a very powerful statement,, OR " it might be" is not a solid reason to chop off body parts.. just saying
........yesterday's rant about my cysts,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, they missed 2 of the 3 cysts, 66 % failure rate ,, i never went back for a re-test, or check up ,, i was kinda mad , if i go back , they are gonna say oops! ,, lets get the other 2 out now,,... "nut" surgery HURTS !!! recovery is bags of ice on your fun zone , no walking for 4 days, and then 9 days of painful everything .. i figured they missed the two small ones,, i will see how big they get .. and a year later ,, kinda big,, until the diet swap ..................... to me , they failed, and just like a crappy resturant ,, i'm a bad customer ,, if you fail , i never go back.. no comments, just good bye... doctors make mistakes, they miss things , they are human,, see ya !
i've walked out of a few dentists offices too,, those guys are really crazy ..
first visit , new dentist .........
dentist :: "how long have you had this gold tooth ?"-
me :::::: 14 years
dentist ::::: we need to take it out !! to see if it 's ok under it
me ::::::: i get out of chair , toss apron on the floor
dentist :::: "where are you going ?''
me ::::::: FAR away from YOU
that was 15 years ago ,, the gold tooth is still doing fine
so now the cancer doctor's are telling me -- "this and that are gonna happen" ,, and NONE of it has ,, all the stuff they said will happen -- HAS NOT , so how valid is their "opinion" ,, and they said what i was gonna do WAS IMPOSSIBLE ... impossible ??
i know my treatment is not in their arsenal , or area of expertise.. maybe they should at least look at food & vitamins, watch a few Youtube videos .. heck just for kicks, for grins & giggles,, but NOOOOOOOO- those internet doctors are QUACKS !!
and the "brain-washing" about cancer stuck it's head out again today .. i was talking to a friend , about possibly getting a CT scan , or NOT ,, and she said ,, "what if the cancer spreads in the next two weeks?"..
dag gone it !!.. it's not spreading ,, it's been 120 days since diagnosis,, the tumor is 95 % smaller, it's going away (( but where?)).. what if it's in your lungs or brain???
it's imploding upon its self .. aka - remission
so will a CT scan calm the people who are worried?? maybe, and if it shows NO spread, then DING ! and double ding!!
you have to dig into my neck to feel the tumor now, so a CT scan will show i still have some cancer, and where it is ... what is the accuracy % of a CT scan . not 100
i was STAGE 4 cancer ( the final stage , no stage 5 ) july 27th , with a tumor as big as a burger. i turned my body into a NO cancer Zone july 3rd,, if it was going to spread , it would have - between , years ago and july 4th , and the PET scan on july 23rd, would have shown spread , but it did not,, the poison in the PET scan blew the tumor up by 20 times. since then , it has gotten smaller everyday.. and that fat ass tumor was as hard as a rock,, it wasn't "swelling" ,it wasn't soft,, it did not "vein-out",,
the radiologist said my small tumor "veined-out" * as in a VEIN all of a sudden started feeding it ,, at the very same time the PET scan was happening.,, all in the same 3 hours ...... bullshit... in june - the biopsy lady said this -- oh good , there are no veins feeding your tumor, ,,
ok get to the point otto -
some of my family are worried,, we lost my sister to cancer. they don't want me to die too. they want "test" results. and i understand .. some of the family are ON BOARD with my thought process. there are some casual observers out there thinking i'm out of my mind to do what i'm doing.. ... but it's working ,, basically no tumor at 120 days - impossible - i feel GREAT - that's also not supposed to happen - while battling cancer, and i look good too.. if i don't tell someone i have cancer, they would have no idea. NO grapefruit growing on my neck..
"just take the test"
someone is thinking , he doesn't want a test because he's wrong, the cancer is spreading, and he's in big trouble ... he just doesn't know it yet........................... and is afraid .. i had one friend ask me when it all started.. ""how are you gonna tell people when you find out you were wrong ??""
my life partner, Heather, has been so supportive through this whole thing, she talked to the doctors when i "was done with them" ,, she's seen the tumor go from - what the hell is this thing on my neck?? , to holy shit WHAT happened?? it's HUGE ,, to i can't see it at all now.. she was there ( lucky for me ) when the call came - YHC.. i hung up and said , "well - i have cancer " , and they want to operate on me in 4 days...... then after all the "tests" and the side effects were spelled out , we got home , and she saw me break down and crumble..
i said ..........
"i'm not afraid to die, i've lived a great life, but i'm NOT gonna let them "treat me" to death .. i'm going to do my own thing , for the same amount of time ( 8 weeks) and see how i feel.."
how do i feel ??? awesome
total success.. no bad side effects, and a tiny tiny tumor..
but it's cancer,, "you can't play around with that" .. guess what --- i am not "playing around " with it , this shit can kill ya , and i am beating the shit out of IT
and then this comes back up................
how can you tell ??? where are the test results??
f#@k !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm tired
if you made it this far , thank you, i'm not bitching. i'm frustrated, tired , and broke, i want a cup of coffee RIGHT NOW
but i LOOK great & feel fantastic .. and no one is taking that away from me
it's MoVember
No comments:
Post a Comment