About Me

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fighting cancer with food & vitamins

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

bla bla bla , jeez

the last blog was kind of intense, be glad you just had to read it, and not be living it.   I had a couple of people chime in that the blog was "too much"  for them to handle.  You might be wondering , what feels good for me, because it can't be that bad all the time.  The problem with face pain is it's so close to yer dang brain, so it's hard to "wish away".  If your toe hurts, that's pretty far from the brain, so for me, it's pretty easy to filter out something like that.  I know some people who suffer from foot pain, and they might say that last statement is a load of crap.  I'll stick to what i know.

so here's what feels good for me, or how i try to get the pains off my mind.

my memory -  it contains some really happy stuff, so if my "present" is undesirable, i try to pull up something fantastic.  you can do this too.  Best part about that is it's free and always there.

the  guitar -  playing guitar is a huge release.  even if for just a few seconds, this works wonders.  Playing for hours is even better.

cleaning - i like to clean stuff, the results are evident immediately .  a clean and orderly house is wonderful.  Vacuuming is a mental pleasure, especially seeing the dog hair get picked up. Shining silver stuff is a smile maker.  Having things lined up straight (it's kind of OCD), is a relaxing sight.  Having the laundry finished and put away correctly is nice.  We have the big industrial type, so a huge load is no problem.  My "closet" is the basement, a  giant walk in closet that most gals would die for.

I like to color, like a 2nd grader, although i don't do this enough.  I like to sell or give away my so called 'art',  and have people color it and show me what they've done.  The little drawings also are pain relievers , if i draw what pain i'm in, it leaves my body and goes onto the paper.  I have 1000's  of these , and many books of collections of them.  You can borrow them, copy whatever you like and color it  yourself. Yay !!

there are a few TV shows i really like. Master Chef Junior is awesome.  We dumped ATT Uverse, and now just have  'air' TV.  Some  old shows like Green Acres, and Dragnet are great.  I used to watch as much auto racing as possible, but racing is getting somewhat like Wrestling. NASCAR will put me to sleep faster than golf.  F-1 is interesting , the technology is mind blowing. Those stupid shows like Maury, Jerry Springer, etc. should be banned from existence. They are worse then bad crack.  I know they are ON tv so the average american can say , "well, at least my life isn't this bad" .   I like to watch movies, and the Blue Ray stuff is great. Family Video is nearby, and it's really cheap.  No wasting time on endless channel surfing.

Being ON stage is the ultimate feel good.  Although watching horrible comedy is gruesome. I love to see people crash n burn.  To me it's hilarious.  Now when i'm featuring or Headlining, i prefer the other comics to have good skills, because a paying audience deserves a quality show.  For Open Mic bar shows, the horrible comedian is just  part of it. As long as they don't run the audience away, i'm ok with people trying to hone their skills and get better.  If you NEVER get a laugh, then seriously think about not getting on stage .  Just because you work hard at it, you might not ever be funny.  Please don't stink up a room , not everyone can be a comedian.  

i love to cook, but currently eating is a nightmare, so i am making super vegetable stews. potatoes, colored bell peppers, onions, cilantro, kale, asparagus, garlic, tomatoes, vegetable broth, all organic. I used to eat 3 pounds of broccoli a week, but my taste buds have had it with broccoli for a while. I make a huge pot of stew and use the blend-stick to make it super smooth, so i only have to crack my mouth open a little to drink it down.  No chewing. I'm ashamed to say this , but i've been eating LOCAL eggs lately . I pouch them and whisk them into a mush, and can kinda 'drink' them. It's some quick calories,and protein. I have to get food past the pain zone, so i'm not on my super-exact anti-cancer diet .  I'm adding avocado oil to almost everything for the fat calories. I used to eat one whole avocado a day, but the chewing is too painful, the oil replaces the whole ones. I use a lot of coconut oil too, on almost everything.

Once a month i get some 'stage juice' from my open mic at he Melody Inn. The  3rd monday each month, 13 + years and still going. ( next monday ).  For some reason people love to yell Otto! whenever i'm seen in public. This feels fantastic.

The dog , Bella , is uplifting. She's so nice and loving. We've been working on "sit n stays" , twice a day. She enjoys learning, and it tuckers her out, good for both of us. She has an amazing internal clock. 7:30 am is wake-up time, and she usually gets me up just seconds before the alarm goes off. We both have breakfast, and then she goes back to bed until 11 am, when she gets  her first walk of the day. Walk 2 is in the evening. She doesn't like to poop in our yard, so the walks are mandatory. She also likes to eat carrots and broccoli, which is her main snack.

Saturday night is Marty Stuart night over at my brother's house. What a great show, but it's NOT in HD on his satellite system. I know  , how strange. After Marty is The Midwest Country Show from Sandstone Minnesota.  It's 'kinda' an open mic for seasoned performers, and some of them are just terrible. Lots of time we have a jam session , keeping the GearHeads in tip top form.

I like having visitors. they bring lots of love and kindness.

Crossing off stuff on my daily list feels great, especially the PT and  exercise stuff. Making juice everyday feels good.

What i do like most is hanging out with my brother. I'm sure i've been a pest many times over the years, but since the cancer deal, the time together is extra great.  My #1 favorite memory from 2014 was october 21st, the first day i could talk after surgery.  He was coming into the hospital room, and i said , " hi Rapper!!" The happy moment we both had will never be forgotten .  "Otto can talk !!"  even though i sounded like one of those bad cigarette commercials .  What a happy moment. 2nd, was the  first time i was able to get over to his house for a visit. We were both quite happy i survived the surgery..!

Now don't freak out , but one fantastic therapy i use is coffee enemas. 4 per day.  They detox the system, relieve pain, and calm me down. Help me get to sleep. Really a great thing to do. 

I see my Dad more often than ever before. It's great.

My Family is the best. Yes , way better than yours, without them i would have surely been gone.  They have all stepped up and help so much.

People  make  me feel great. You , reading this , you're one of them. I'm not a big fan of "social media" , that term makes me cringe, but i do get a lot of love and good vibes from it, so I'm still using faceboogie. 

I'm a dreamer, my imagination is way out there. I love to just imagine stuff, it makes the painful 'present' tolerable.

So, it's not all bad, my life right now. I still have both arms & legs. I can talk, and do most of what i used to do. It is still just 115 days since surgery.  A long road ahead, i just wasn't expecting this pain deal, and being this weak.  Me , Mr Positive, thought i'd bounce back to normality in just weeks, but noooooooooooooo.

So keep those good vibes coming please. The 11:11 gang is still working their magic twice daily. The Law Of Attraction is working  really well for me.  I love life , and all it has for me.

stay fantastic my friends!!