wow it's cold outside

today  i met  with another  cancer  "survivor" ,,,   these  are the best meetings,,,,     to talk to people   ""on the other side"" ,,,,,,, i.e.           ..       healed......  or  cured

he's been tracking / supporting my  fight, and the  ALL NATURAL  way i'm battling...   he's  really impressed  with my success,,   he saw  the  tumor when it  was still   golf-ball size,  late  july...

it's  AMAZING !!!!  , we  all agree..


this is  just a  quickie  today  ,,,  


FALL  arrived !!   i don't like the  cold..

                               sept  21st ,,   that  line on my neck if  from my breather, i was  sanding
it  looks a bit bigger ,, but it's NOT , i've lost more un-needed  fat on my neck , and little  buddy shows more............  it  WAS  from my earlobe - to almost my adams apple ..     a  big hand full  , just weeks  ago 




have a  safe  & loving weekend 

my cancer A-B-C's

i thought  this up the other day.. kinda  harsh in spots,  but you'll be ok reading it

my cancer  A B C's

A. is for absolute horror
B. is for bitch .            as in  cancer is  a bitch 
C. is for chemotherapy  ..    no way !!! stay away !!
D. is for DEATH,,,  a side  effect of  "treatment"
E. is for  everybody
F. thinks  you're fucked
G. Get ready
H. for the Hell on the way
I.  is for insane
J. is for Jagged needles
K. is for  KILL YOU 
L. long and horribly slow
M. is for Murder
N. that the AMA  never gets charged  for
O. is Opiates,,  they intensify 
P.  PAIN     . yes  they do
Q. is for unanswered questions
R. is for Radiation,,,,  are you serious??
S. surgery will take your soul
T. "Treatment"  .." we'll barely keep you alive - to treat you"
U. ugly scars
V .VERY  frightened is how you feel
W.  is for wellness,,    you're on your own
X. the  amount of  WASTED $$$ on bad "research"
Y.  is for  WHY ???   why is cancer worse now than 50 years ago ?
Z. is for ZERO,,  that's how much HOPE  you have , when they scare you 


now you know my ABC's 
and that cancer is a "cure-able" disease





 

and - scene!

our dog Zuzu got  spayed today, and she recovering in my room tonight..  the  two dogs are  usually going wild with fun,, and tonight she is so calm and bummed out.. and  a few  pain wimpers now  and then

i feel great .  day  two at my new day job,, it's nice NOT being the boss , or the guy who has to answer to angry customers..  i'm the  shop lacky..  -  go get the 5/8ths wrench,, sweep the  floor, sand this, etc...   awesome , a no brainer job,, in the day , i can buy food again.

i enjoy having a part time job, to supplement the  entertainment $$,, and  i am able to work both,, so i'll  be back on track very soon ..

i can feel my tumor , but it's barely visible, even to me , and i know where it is..  it is  supposed to be as big as a lemon NOW,, and  as big as a grapefruit in december..  hmmmmm, somebody was way off on that prediction....    and i am feeling way better than  "barely alive, so we can treat you"..  i can also talk and swallow.. like  i said-  i'm feeling really good..

another bad one-liner --   3 weeks ago, -   "cancer-- the best thing that's ever happened to me"  ...........................

because i got my diet in order, got a good slap in the face by reality, and re-focused my life on  being healthy,,  not  being " something"..  and i met some really nice people too..  it was horrible the first few weeks, but since i decided to do what i'm doing,,  i've  only had myself to  bring me down.. and i know better than to be  bummed out... 

be careful this weekend everyone,,, spread  some love..  help someone you don't know,, that's a good  thought

 

closing in ....

i had  to  bail on a show,, i was able  to  work  today ,   and  even worked  longer than expected..  yippeeeee !!
i haven't  "worked",, as in day type job , since  june 2nd ,, so i've become a weenie,,   i was fried when i got  home,   so i canceled my spot ,, i would have been   way too tired, on the  drive home,,,   i don't  need to get hurt, because i'm  tired,, that would be stupid...  i'm  doing so well in my battle..


26 days  till  i get re tested,, 

 i met a  guy today ,, i gave  him my super  quickie story,, and ---  he  said  he  had ulcer  problems,  for  17 years , about  +$20,000,, in bills,, the  doctors said they couldn't  do anything else for him...   he said  he  went to "asia" on vacation,, saw a doctor there......   guess what ,,    3  different "crazy herbs" ,, and two weeks  later  , NO  ulcer,,, and  no stomach problems  since..



i say these crazy  "one liner's" about my cancer .. this  week ----
 ""i'm the  LUCKIEST cancer  victim ever""



............................    because i can see my tumor, well not much any more , and it's not deep inside me,, or on a super important  body part,,  it's just a  ride along ,, getting kicked to the  curb, and my side effects  so far  are good ones !   i feel great..


little  Zuzu gets fixed in the  morning,,  she's had a tuff life,, and we're so happy she's with us,, i'm just worried,, but this is done all the time, and she should be ok... how  we are  going to keep her "still"  for  10 days  is a challenge awaiting

well . i missed my midnight  super deadline,, but i was too zombied earlier,,

more good stuff

i see the chiropractor every  3  weeks,, for my old neck issue,, it's  the  best  45  seconds of the month..   snap crackle  pop, !! bam  ..  every thing is  great

the receptionist said that i look better than i ever  have ,, and that's  over  3 years  of  visits.. the  guy with cancer  looks great !!!  wow


this  would  have been week  6 of radiation,,  my throat / swallowing would  have been in bad shape  by now,, and the  feeding tube would be my source of nutrition .. eeeeeek !!!,, and i would have been actually shitty at / to the world, because i didn't  want  any of radiation...  and the  visits to and from the cancer center would  just fill you up with negative  energy..  how  could you possibly  get better ???


so , on my own, with support from all of you out there ,  i feel great,,  my progress is way beyond  what  the  "treatment" would have  had  me at..   and   no side effects, besides being  bummed  out because i  do have cancer  still..


summation ::  feeling good , tumor is hard  to see,, no issues with my throat, lost all my crappy food  fat.. waiting to be tested in october ,,  they are  going to be very shocked,,

"impossible" ,, "you need  chemo"," we'll be keeping you alive- to treat you",,  i'm not  sure  how these  words are  going to taste to the doctors,,,  maybe  with some  Thai-peanut sauce??,, but  they will go for the  ranch dressing for sure...

ok   &   awesome !! 

bad thinking

i must confess i was  bummed out yesterday / today ,,    about  not having a day job,,  how  stupid am i ??   i'm "beating cancer"  and i'm bummed out about $$  .. whata  dumbass.

i've  been  debt free  for years,, so  owing anyone any  $$  is  a drag... and  again ,, whata  dumbass...   
  some  people  are  $20,000 deep , or  more ,, and  i'm freaking  out about not too much at all,     

  i have  the hard worker  gene , from my family,, so not  working, and ending up , just a bit in debt , is  grating my DNA...   and again,, whata dumbass......   the  day job i've  been waiting on called , and i can get some time starting wednesday .. yay !!!

well.. now i feel better ..  i've  just been thinking of the wrong stuff..  whata  dumbass 




snap out of it  otto !!!

 .

sunny sunday

quickie post,


all is  good ,   i can't  wait to be re-tested..

i need  many more  gigs,, i am ready to  work all the time again



stay  true