feeling MUCH better

happy friday everyone , i hope you all have great weekends.

yesterday i was an emotional mess,, caused by stress - my biggest enemy..

the future is not written,,,  a good statement , ( and a great movie about Joe Strummer ) ...   anyway ...

 i got myself swirled up in stressing out about a possible January event.. what a dumbass i am...  some nice talk with some great people  un-did my terror..   i will most likely  not try to do the NYC trip,,,    it would be great to go and speak about my "battle" , but  it's  a lot of  different things would have to "line up " to make the trip do-able ,,,   basically 4 days of travel & lodging for  an 8 minute  presentation ...

i'm still trying to dig out of my $$ hole,  so i should probably concentrate on local things that will not cost me  any additional   funds that i don't really have ...  

at work last night, one of the regular racers / comedy fans, came in... he hadn't seen me since May,,  he knew i "retired" in june, and was surprised to see me there,,  "you're back "  he  said ,,,  then from about 15 feet away he added,,  "" wow , have you been on vacation or something ?  You  look fantastic,, are you getting some  sun from somewhere?,,""  he knew of my old neck issues, and asked how that was going...  then i told him about the cancer ...          ""Whaaaaaaat !!,,, no way ""..     i gave  him the  quick story,, the good vibes flowing off him made me fell so good...  this  guy  has a great spirit, you just feel good talking to him, he's one of those  people...     the  boost in my whole attitude from talking with him, erased all the trama i put on my self earlier in the day ,,,  a good  dose  of  "tumor-be-gone",,,  

the  ' kicker' was him saying --  ""you need to tell people about this,,,  this  could be something big ""  ,,,   

and then the NYC  trip  went   "ding" , in my head..

i got another call from one of my dear friends, she's  a my  blog reader,, and she might be able to get me a place to stay, right downtown in Manhattan...  with her nephew..  


i'll decide on the NYC deal in a day or two, i need to get a few more details worked out.....  the  easiest , less stress full thing to do would be  "forget about it"  for january, and try to get in another one , in the future..  bam , done deal, stress  is gone,,  focus on food & vitamins,  relax 


D W  - ( darrell waltrip , nascar racer)  had many  "sayings" ,, one of them --- "95 % of what you worry about  DOESN'T  happen --- stay cool , it will be  OK"

today is another  great day in my life ,  #1 - i am alive and feel great , #2  so many people are helping me with this cancer battle, #3  i feel great,, and can work , eat , and poop normally  ..............  " winning " 

ok that's it for now,,  all positive , all good


here is a pic of my extensive work out gear..  

         15 # dumbells,   40 # barbell,  sit up/ crunch device, ball for reverse crunches, wood roller for feet bottoms,  in the mirror , you can see the red hanging bands, and the  stationary bike wheel .. NO gym, no excuses , everyday !!

and we will end today with these words ......

super , fantastic, wonderful, bliss, sunny, cheer, grace, gratitude, excited, thankful , appreciate , kindness, love, happiness, warm,  calm, sincere,  humble

don't mees with stress

it been a few days, i've been working and doing shows...

i'm a bit +  stressed.. which is really bad.. this time it's over the  NYC  trip...   my sister said i could use some of her husbands travel miles, and have  free ticket to and from, which is great ,  but i'd still have to take a few days off from work,,   it won't be "free" in NYC either,, parking - if i drive -  I DON"T WANT to fly , but it would be safer? ...  i'd need a place to stay,  my special diet would be troublesome,all my pills would be a nightmare to the TSA , and  a hotel would be too much for my budget,  and just getting to the show could be trouble too... what if it  snows really bad ??            i'd  hate  to make some one taxi me around,  and if i flew out there , then i'd be  paying  real taxi's,, and i don't have that  extra $  either..          i can always  get in another show , later in the year, if the chance becomes available

ok,, typing all that out just helped....

# 2  stress this week,,,,  my dad wants me to get the CT scan,,,  i don't want to AT ALL,,,   i know  it will not  go well - as in , i'm allergic to Iodine, and i'm positive i will have a really bad reaction to this one,,   ((  i had one at the start of all of this ,, but i went into it "blind" and was  in- "" i'm taking all the tests mode"",,))   the bad reaction is already "in place" in my mind..                 so far my mind has been pretty powerful in the right direction, and if  it gets fuel to go bad, i think it will..

wow , i feel better already,,, thanks  friendly readers, for  letting me spew all this crap, all the time..

the internal chatter in my mind can help a lot, or  bring me down quick ..  i have to be careful about  what kind of  stress i'm loading into my system..   stress  was my cancer trigger,,  so i need to stay away ,, if it's choice ..

at  5 months from diagnosis, i better chill, and  not  take on too many projects
 
i'd be stupid to load myself up with too much at this point..   so far   , the healing has been fantastic, i've  simplified  my life,,  i'm focused on healing , that's my # 1 priority ,,,  everything else should be on the back burner

i saw the chiropractor yesterday , on schedule, and  he's still impressed with my progress, and overall situation...   my neck pains that were creeping in last week were taken away with the two  adjustments he makes..  whew,, what a relief 

well , i feel  way better than an hour ago...

health report ........

tumor ..........  holding  at same size
strength.......   another plateau crossed
attitude .......   mostly good, some what if's
weight ........    150 , all week,, i like  145 better
pain level.....     .04
overall ........    8.1     ~  the stress     

water is really good stuff

dec 3rd, and its above 60 degrees . awesome..    for me, warm weather  makes my day,,,

months ago, i thought december was really gonna  be bad,  struck down by cancer, and battered by treatment ..  

but look at me now !!!!

hilarious .. 

groups of seconds,, that's what memories are,, good or bad,,   today , feeling super great, the group of seconds when my mind said .....

""you are not gonna let the cancer industry touch you, you are gonna  eat your way out of this....""

and Leonard Cohen would say ........................

that was close, august 1st..

MORE thank you's to my pogues run food angel, or angels !!!  that's where i get my life saving foods, and then the big burst of love when they say ..... you have another gift card loaded...  i am truely blessed ,  i am very lucky  people like  me for  some reason


5 full months  since  diagnosis,, what a trip...  i feel the best i ever have in my whole life.. i look better than ever too.. from what people are saying...   my mind is over the   super-cancer-freakout  stage ....    it's all smooth sailing now.....

ok , 

super cool, don't be a fool.........