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fighting cancer with food & vitamins

Friday, November 2, 2012

get a drink, this is a long one

i talked with the radiologist today ,
 he said he saw the pictures i sent him,  
he asked    "how do you feel? ". 
i said FANTASTIC.   
  he asked  what kind of test would i like ??
i asked what kind of test do they do after radiation?
doc :   CT scan or PET scan 
me ::    i'm not having another PET scan
doc::    the CT scan is less "invasive" &  it can tell if your cancer has spread, you can set it up anytime. 
me ::    ok, i will get back to you soon... click

not one question about "how did you do it " ,  just THE question - how do you feel??     so how i feel must be a measuring device .  and  "what kind of test would you like?" .. $$ for them

alright,, i feel great and have felt super,  since my diagnosis  and DIET change...   i feel great ,, better than great - actually.. 

according to me ,, and most people,, if you FEEL GREAT , and have no "issues"  - as in open wounds, broken bones, skin flare ups, grapefruit size tumors, ya  don't  go to the doctor..  you feel great , what is the doctor gonna tell you ? - keep up the good work.  

when i was first seeing the cancer doc's , on my first visit , the Nurse was going through my medical history & current health status..    
how  do you feel  ?         - GREAT,  but i am at the cancer center..
do you take any medicines ?           NO 
any health issues ?                          NO
headaches ?                                      no
ringing in the ears ?                          no
night sweats   ?                                just my neck .. really 
pains   ?                                            NO
street drugs    ?                                 NO
alcohol use     ?                                 NO
sleep troubles   ?                               NO
and a few more Q's      all   solid      NO 's   !!!!
heart rate  ( at the cancer center )    64 bpm 

she then asks  .. are you some kind of athlete ??   - comedian 
then she says  .. What are  you  doing here ?

i point to my tumor --  this ... 

so  How  do you feel ?  seems to be an important   question

when i had the flu two weeks ago , i felt like crap , i knew it was the Flu , and it was gonna take so many days , and be gone .. some people said  GO TO THE DOCTOR !!!  ,, and i was like   "so they can say go home and rest , here's some anti-biotics, how about a flu shot ?? "   no thanks ... 

i don't think doctors are  gods ,,, some of them DO ,  just ask the  Nurses,,   ,, but not me

the  doctor's  "opinion" , might be WRONG , "let's TRY this"  is not  a very powerful statement,,   OR  " it might be"  is not a solid reason to chop off body parts.. just saying   

  ........yesterday's rant  about my cysts,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, they missed 2 of the  3 cysts, 66 %  failure rate ,,  i never went back for a re-test, or check up ,, i was kinda  mad , if i go back , they are gonna say  oops! ,, lets  get the other 2 out now,,...    "nut" surgery HURTS !!!  recovery is  bags of ice on your fun zone , no walking for  4 days, and then 9 days of painful everything ..  i figured they missed the two small ones,, i will see how big they get .. and a year later ,, kinda  big,, until the diet swap .....................   to me , they failed,    and just like a crappy  resturant ,,  i'm a bad customer ,, if you fail , i never go back..  no comments, just  good bye...   doctors  make  mistakes, they miss things , they are  human,,  see ya !    

i've  walked out of a few dentists offices  too,,  those  guys are really crazy ..  
first visit , new dentist .........
dentist ::  "how  long have you  had this  gold tooth ?"-
 me ::::::            14  years 
dentist :::::   we need to take it out !!  to see if it 's ok under it 
me :::::::   i   get out of chair , toss apron on the floor
dentist ::::  "where are you  going ?''
me  :::::::  FAR away from YOU 

that was 15 years ago ,, the gold tooth is still doing fine

so now the cancer doctor's are telling me -- "this and that  are  gonna happen" ,, and  NONE of it has ,, all the stuff they said will happen --   HAS NOT , so how valid is their  "opinion" ,, and  they said  what i was gonna do WAS IMPOSSIBLE ...  impossible ??

i know my treatment is not in their arsenal , or area of expertise.. maybe they should at least look at food & vitamins, watch a few Youtube  videos .. heck just for kicks,   for  grins & giggles,,   but  NOOOOOOOO-  those  internet doctors are QUACKS !!  

and the "brain-washing" about cancer stuck it's head out again today ..    i was talking to a friend  , about possibly getting a CT scan , or  NOT ,, and she  said  ,, "what if the cancer spreads in the next two weeks?".. 

  dag gone it !!.. it's not spreading ,, it's been 120 days since diagnosis,, the tumor is 95 % smaller, it's going away (( but where?)).. what if it's in your lungs  or brain??? 
it's  imploding upon its self ..  aka -  remission 

so will a CT scan calm the people who are worried??   maybe,  and if  it shows NO spread,  then   DING !  and  double ding!! 

you have to dig into my neck to feel the tumor now,  so a CT scan will  show i still have some cancer, and where it is ... what is the accuracy % of a CT scan . not 100

i was STAGE 4 cancer  ( the  final stage , no stage  5 )  july 27th , with a tumor as big as a burger.  i turned my body into a NO cancer Zone  july 3rd,,  if it was going to spread , it would have -   between , years ago and  july 4th , and the PET scan on july 23rd, would have shown spread , but it did not,,  the poison in the PET scan blew the tumor up by 20 times.   since then , it has gotten smaller everyday.. and that fat ass tumor was as hard as a rock,, it wasn't  "swelling" ,it wasn't  soft,,  it  did not  "vein-out",,  

the radiologist said  my small tumor "veined-out" *  as in a VEIN  all of a sudden started feeding it ,, at the  very same time the PET scan was  happening.,, all in the  same  3 hours ...... bullshit...   in june -  the biopsy  lady said this  -- oh good , there are no veins feeding your tumor, ,, 

ok get to the point otto - 

 some of my family  are worried,, we lost my sister to cancer.  they don't want me to die  too.   they want  "test"  results. and i understand .. some of the family are ON BOARD with my thought process.        there are  some casual observers out there  thinking i'm out of my mind to do what i'm doing.. ...     but it's working ,, basically no tumor at 120 days - impossible - i feel GREAT - that's also  not supposed to happen - while  battling cancer,   and  i look good too..   if i don't tell someone i have cancer,  they would have no idea.   NO grapefruit growing on my neck.. 

"just take the test" 

someone is thinking , he doesn't  want a test because he's wrong, the cancer is spreading, and he's in big trouble ...  he just doesn't know it yet........................... and is afraid ..   i had one friend ask me when it all started..  ""how are you  gonna tell people when you find out you were wrong ??""  

my life partner, Heather, has been so supportive through this whole thing, she talked to the doctors when i "was done with them" ,, she's seen the tumor go from - what the hell is this thing on my neck?? , to holy shit WHAT happened?? it's HUGE ,,  to i can't see it at all now..             she was there ( lucky for me ) when the call came - YHC.. i hung  up and said  , "well - i have cancer " , and they want to operate on me in 4 days...... then after all the "tests"  and the side effects were spelled out ,  we got  home , and she saw me break down and crumble..

i said ..........
"i'm  not afraid to die, i've lived a great life,  but i'm NOT gonna let them "treat me"  to death .. i'm going to do  my own thing , for the same amount of time  ( 8 weeks) and see how i feel.."  

how do i feel ???   awesome 
total success..   no bad  side effects, and a tiny tiny tumor..  

but it's cancer,, "you can't play around with that"   .. guess what ---  i am not "playing around " with it , this shit can kill ya ,   and  i am beating the shit out of     IT

and then this comes back up................ 

how can you tell ??? where are the test results??  

f#@k !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   i'm tired

if you made it this far , thank you, i'm not bitching.  i'm frustrated, tired  ,  and broke,  i want a cup of coffee RIGHT NOW

 but i LOOK great & feel fantastic .. and no one is taking that away from me

                                      it's    MoVember





Thursday, November 1, 2012

i didn't know id end up here

i am in a group of guys who are  growing mustaches for MoVember & Son's..  it's a cancer awareness program to fight Mens Cancers.. here is my page

you  can donate if you'd like .  the $$ goes  to research , for  prostrate & testicular cancer,,,  too many men get these  cancers...   

i've  had testicular Cysts, they weren't cancer, had ONE removed,  but  they missed  2 small ones  , and they grew to be uncomfortable, as in  - you  can't cross your legs sitting down with out some squish-age ,  a "bag" can only  hold  so much, if you know what i mean..  and  your  testicles are the ones who feel crowded, not the  new guys

the food & vitamin program is  shrinking my testicular cysts too!!!   they were getting pretty big, i thought i was gonna  have to get another "Nut Job" , that was  2 weeks  of hell - recovery wise,,    I didn't want to rush into that, especially since they MISSED  2  the first time..   i should have written in Shaprie in my stomach  - THERE'S MORE THAN ONE !!!..
     i told them verbally - there are  3 , NOT just one , and the nurse said -  "don't worry , they will get them all "  ...
well they didn't...  the  2 they missed grew to an uncomfortable size in one year... ( from  june  to June ) ..

so  , mid  June i was like  "damn - i'm gonna need another Nut Job"  , then the  neck  "blob" appeared, and i was focused on that , which turned out to be MY cancer..  the nuts can wait - NOW i have  cancer - dang !!....  about  20 days into the super diet , my "extra Nuts"   were shrinking ,, if YOU  don't believe me , you are invited to check for yourself -  eeeeeeeeeeeeek  !!!   just kidding...   hee hee 

 if  you remember  -  at the start of this blog , i was gonna  "keep it real"  not hold back ,, well  this is one of those  posts .   i have a few minutes  of comedy about my "nut Job" ,, i don't  do them often , but the  final punchline is  

" so now my nut sack looks like  Bruce Jenner's face".

have i made  you  go  .. eeeeeeeeeeew , wtf -otto!!  ?

well LIFE  does that ,,  so suck it up , and get on with it.

it's November .. good thoughts   Month !!!   

ok that's  today's rant ..  and now you know  WAY  too much about me 

here's my new song ....  kinda  summs up my life..

..........................NO  Fun ............... otto -2012    

           well my teeth are black from coffee
                my hands  are  red  from  sin
                  there's  lines on my face 
              from the  trouble I've been in

                    my hair is always messy 
           from the weird thoughts in my head
                   and i didn't learn much
                  the  3  times i was dead

               well i drank too much  liquor
               and i smoked too much blow
               i wish i could  go back in time
             with the  things that i now know 

                   it's  no fun BEING  me
                   it's no fun  BEING  me 

              well my bones are old and broken
                  i've got CANCER in my neck
            the Devil's  had both hands on me 
                 but he hasn't caught me yet 

                  so here i stand before  you 
                 telling jokes & singing songs
             i'm just trying to get through my life
                 doing  RIGHT , with no wrongs

                but i drank too much  liquor
               and i smoked too much blow
               i wish i could  go back in time
             with the  things that i now know 

                      it's  no fun BEING  me
                      it's no fun  BEING me


ok ,, have a great month , i KNOW i am 


Wednesday, October 31, 2012

just some general news

i try to keep this blog thing entertaining ,, i know i've been a whiny bitch a lot, and i hope to be done with that ..  it's now  overload with positivity .. here are  some random thoughts.   

i feel great , i've been doing my daily exercises without missing for 4 months , eating right, - the  one slip - the dinner  roll , showed me not to play around with my food intake..  

i have no hand pain for months now,  that makes the guitar playing really nice..  i used to be screaming in pain from my hands & arms..( it  was my neck )    my old songs were really short , because i couldn't play  for  2 minutes - without it hurting really bad.

now i seek out enjoyable things,, i'm not  going anywhere it's gonna suck,  i'm not doing anything i don't want to do..   i'm not gonna stress out over  stupid stuff.    no shows in smoking venues

i undid my neck pains from last week, i did some extra stretching , and i will see the chiropractor next week, and get back on my  3 week rotation. 

band practice was  super fun, music is easier to enjoy than comedy, for me , as a performer..  i love being on stage , it's my #1 buzz,, and then they pay you  too !!  wow

my tumor is playing hide  n seek now ,, yep , it's really small, even people who know where it is can't  find it..  that's a great feeling .

i got back up to 150 / 151 .  weight is  an easy way to measure what's  going on with my diet, if i'm eating enough..  the food is ALL very good for me , but sometimes i just don't put enough in the bowl.
  i want to stay between 150 and 155 - getting down to 141  was  just too light,  so i stepped up to  6 good meals a day -  for a few  days , and now  i'm eating  5  times a day,,  along with the  juice.    my teeth are not all grungy from coffee anymore. 

my eyesight  is altered since july,, i can see better , is it the carrots ?? is that true ?  maybe .. i know the orange poop is  from the carrot juice, i can see that for sure

ok, that's it for today , i hope to have more  "substance" in  future  posts... 

 a  new month starts in a few hours,, i'm  leaving all the bad crap in those months  that just passed ~  

positive results are what we are after  

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

someone special is gone

today would have been my sister Mary 's  birthday, she  would have  been  57..  My family is the best , that's it , the best.  A wonderful unit of love & harmony. everyone helps each other.   I'd  be a freakin mess right now with out their support.. Mary  passed away from lung cancer..   i did not  know anything about cancer when she was diagnosed.  seeing her in the horrible condition in the hospital was more than i could take.. i felt  useless , i could not help her.   i  wish i had known  what i know  now,  and maybe she'd  still be with us.  

Mary was my "personal manager" , meaning , i was out of control about my life, and i had her take over for me.  i gave  her my $$ and she gave  me a small allowance.  I checked in 4 times a week .,  we  made sure i stayed  sober.

She basically saved my life , and i couldn't  do the same for her.  it didn't seem fair.. she  did so much for me , and i couldn't  do anything for her..   

part of my "drive" , or , commitment to beating this cancer is for her..  i am not  going to let cancer take  2 of us, no  way !!!    

and  the family  is doing really well about my deal,, we've already had one funeral from cancer ,, and i will not  let it  take me,,   ..   i've been the  sheltered kid for 54 years,, the family would keep bad news from me ,, until the results were better...  i'd hear this kind of thing -- " yeah, dad's out of the hospital, the surgery went well "  .. not  , ""oh shit , dad needs an operation, and it might be  a tough one this time""

so october ends, what a  month,, good and bad memories, but  GREAT  overall..

i know she's  watching over me still , and  she is fully confident in the way i am fighting my cancer..

so i think today will be  up  & down for us as a family .. great thoughts about Mary , and then the tragic ones, about  loosing her , and  now that cancer crap is on another one of us......... ( me) 

i might be selling tickets to my funeral, but i have NO plans on making them valid anytime soon..

  report :
weight .........  150 !!!   wooooo
strength ......     A+
attitude ......     very good
tumor ........      TINY 
overall ......       9.4

Sunday, October 28, 2012

another year has gone by

 well today was 24 years  sober, a good milestone, no alcohol since 10 - 28 -88  , age  30 ..

 otto Vs  not drinking was an easy  battle .  it was as easy as  DON'T touch it , and it can't touch you .  just over and over in 24 hour segments.  if you can quit something for  24 hours , you can beat  it ..  it happened yesterday , not  today, that was  2 days ago , not  tomorrow .    and  forever-   never again  .

the juice ( carrot & apple ) , go me off coffee, instantly ,, and  in 3 days,  i felt like i had never even  ever had coffee..

 i'm  back up to 148 today , i made  some potato "stew" yesterday , and some "chili"  today , and had mass quantities .  

i feel fantastic,   i undid my neck pains with the proper stretches , ding.

 a new month soon, and like the  24 hour thing above ,  in these  new months, i should have  a MUCH better attitude, because  of what  is happening ................ july sucked, , august ,  was better, september- still bad,  october ,, LOTS  of  mental healing ,,   so it's only my fault if i feel bad in November.

i am really interested in the superstorm that is headed to the east coast..  i hope  people are ready & don't get hurt

8760  days  sober ,,     i've  , "had cancer"  for  118 days,  same kind of deal,,   consume no cancer products, eat right, exercise,  and  everything will be fine,   the results are already wonderful 

ok that's it  for today