and my fight continues,,
since i'm doing my own thing, i'm not getting any bad vibes from the cancer industry. so "my fight" - the physical part is actually nice, i HAVE to eat these certain foods, but i have 29 teeth, so eating is not that hard, my hand puts stuff in my mouth, and i have at it.... it takes 24 minutes to make the daily juice, a machine does most of the work,, i do WASH the stuff first, and cut the black tops off the carrots.. wow , tough. and my life is saved..... eat ,vitamins, eat, eat, juice,vitamins, eat, eat, eat, that's about how "hard" it is...
i saw some people today that i haven't seen in 3 months, (they didn't know he cancer deal) ,, -- " wow otto,, long time , you look great, what are you doing ?" ..............battling cancer with food & vitamins...
the faces turn sour,,, eeew, cancer? .. yeah but don't worry (( then they get the 3 minute summary)).. a few questions later , and I FEEL better , and they are amazed... i guess worldwide, everyone knows someone effected by cancer , but not to many people know someone who "walked away " from treatment... i'm some kind of rebel... then i remember, if i was 'being treated' i probably would not have been talking to these people .. this would have been week 2 of Chemo,, and after being so sick with the Flu last week, man i'd be feeling super crappy. BUT I"M NOT !!!
hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
i had to throw in a laugh there .
well, it seems i'm going to weigh around 145 for a while.. it looks pretty foxy if you ask me, i've been on the weights and i'm kind of ripped, my short pants from last year are two fists too loose... my muffin top is gone finally .. i still shake a lot if my feet aren't flat on the ground, so it wasn't coffee jitters for all these years, it's me.
here's where the real fight takes place- in your mind, and your mind is always there, helping, or punching you in the face. i get punched quite often.. stupid cancer, and all that baggage it has, it can fill your mind up with such unhealthy crap....... then there's the people who are worried about you- which is NICE to have , i am truely blessed to be loved by so many people ,,,,,, ((some people die a lonely "life" )), but what has molded their opinions about cancer?? some are worried because they "heard that" , or "read something on the internet", and most of that kind of information is standard cancer industry folk-lore , or as i like to say -- propaganda .
they say you have cancer- they test you- they want to "treat" you, after that , they re-test with machines that may not be completely accurate,or aggravate the "cancer" so,,,,,, MORE treatment, you have health insurance-no big deal, what's the problem? sounds simple, what are you walking away for ?? another mind smack
i AM the experiment, i'm the nutty professor, making my own sauce, i can SEE it working, i can feel it working, but i have not designed a "machine" that can spit out some #'s to compare to the cancer industry machines data.. i don't want to be hooked up to THEIR machines, they hurt, they damaged me, i felt like SHIT for 5 days. so i have to go back to basics- and defend myself against the "test data people" .. well you have no data , how can you prove what you are doing ??? .. just take a look !!! ask me how i feel , test my strength ,, but don't put SHIT IN my body and say ,, "hey there's some shit in your body" we saw it on the test. here's the data ...
even i am brainwashed by cancer... i hear the little voice, ""hey bitch,, you have cancer"" - it wants to kill you, it's not gonna let up . YOU CAN"T do this yourself, no one does this without doctors. are you some kind of dumbass??, come 'on ,
that non-sense is in my head.. and i KNOW i'm right , with my plan, but the crap in the air about cancer, is breathed in by everyone . even me,, dang !
if i could only just keep walking , doing what i'm doing , feeling great , eating right,, thinking positive . with out that cancer voice haunting me... life would be great
ok great .. but ,, are you - mr or mrs reader thinking - if he had the right test, the c voice would go away.??.
pow - right in the brain!
i'm an alcoholic who doesn't drink , 24 years in 2 days, i changed my body into a NO-alcohol system, it has worked out fine, i just can't put alcohol IN or on my body . people said i couldn't do it my self, and i did... if i am STUPID enough to use alcohol again, well,, i get what i deserve
i got cancer , i changed my body to a NO-cancer system, it is working out fine, ( 120 days in,) i just can't put cancer in or on my body .. people said i couldn't do it my self, and i AM ... if i am STUPID enough to put cancer in my body again, well, i get what i deserve
great googale moogalee otto !!!! ya gave me a headache
overall score .... 8.7
weight ...... 141.8
pain ....... some - from old neck issues
tumor size ....... laughingly small
strength ......... feels like 1975
attitude ...... waiting for "data" .
Friday, October 26, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
all systems are GO!
cancer update.. it still sucks ... i'd like to say "i'm over it", with a teenage girl voice. and just be done...
it doesn't hurt, it's not in the way , i can't see it without pulling some skin tight. it's still on / in me,, a pez size & shape is where it's down to now.. i am confident that it is not spreading,, i've been really diligent with the anti-cancer foods & vitamins,, to me the tumor is imploding,, if it was getting worse, my tonsils would be as big as an apple, and they'd hurt really bad too.. but they don't and don't . so there
i am behind on seeing the Chiropractor, this is an issue that i didn't expect,, today i could feel those missing visits,, my neck was a major pain issue for many years, and to get that pain level down to ZERO for the last 2 years is simply a miracle.. water , and stretching , with traction.. never missing any exercises was a key also ..
to me, it's crazy how people can not dedicate themselves to a self-life-saving program... you have to do this OR you die... holy-cow,, that's not a hard choice... and NO !! you can't "cheat - a little".... i can't have "just a 1/2 pint" of ken & jerky's burried treasure sherbert, not today , not ever.. NO more coffee,, no more boxes of nerds... i choose life, and a healthy one at that. i don't get to have ONE shot of wisky,, because it's been sooooooooo long
i was talking to a comic last night, i didn't know he was a vegetarian ,, i'm a hyper-vegan, the common thought was ,, vegetarian food is BLAND ,, and that is almost completely true.. i said SALT helps,, but people are confused about salt... GOOD quality salt is good for you....fresh spices & herbs can wake up those taste buds AND ,, it is nice that no one will ever just eat your food , while you are looking the other way ,, like drunks do to each other.. i was a very hungry drunk,, i'd eat your food in an instant , if you got up to pee..
my weight seems to have leveled off at 145... i replaced the sweet ass bike with and old schwinn 3 speed , has two flats and it still works on the rollers,,, how nice is that.. i can get my cardio back up to snuff .. my NO-fat body % looks great,, i felt like a blob last winter,, and all that is gone, gone, gone..
attitude - it makes everything... i must remember my own teachings,, and THINK of the correct things... i can't dwell on the dumb things that don't matter ... i feel great , people love me , i have everything i need .. i just have to punch these recurring cancer thoughts in the face.
and today's weather here in Indy !!! how can anyone feel bad in the sun at 77 degrees at the end of october ??
ok , that's the update ... i feel fantastic , i just have to think correctly
and one more thing about Esperanza..........................
here is Esperanza, on her home beach of Viques , Peurto Rico..
"just caught" feb 1998
she went form this sunny 80 degree beach,,, to 10 degrees and SNOW , in 14 hours
it doesn't hurt, it's not in the way , i can't see it without pulling some skin tight. it's still on / in me,, a pez size & shape is where it's down to now.. i am confident that it is not spreading,, i've been really diligent with the anti-cancer foods & vitamins,, to me the tumor is imploding,, if it was getting worse, my tonsils would be as big as an apple, and they'd hurt really bad too.. but they don't and don't . so there
i am behind on seeing the Chiropractor, this is an issue that i didn't expect,, today i could feel those missing visits,, my neck was a major pain issue for many years, and to get that pain level down to ZERO for the last 2 years is simply a miracle.. water , and stretching , with traction.. never missing any exercises was a key also ..
to me, it's crazy how people can not dedicate themselves to a self-life-saving program... you have to do this OR you die... holy-cow,, that's not a hard choice... and NO !! you can't "cheat - a little".... i can't have "just a 1/2 pint" of ken & jerky's burried treasure sherbert, not today , not ever.. NO more coffee,, no more boxes of nerds... i choose life, and a healthy one at that. i don't get to have ONE shot of wisky,, because it's been sooooooooo long
i was talking to a comic last night, i didn't know he was a vegetarian ,, i'm a hyper-vegan, the common thought was ,, vegetarian food is BLAND ,, and that is almost completely true.. i said SALT helps,, but people are confused about salt... GOOD quality salt is good for you....fresh spices & herbs can wake up those taste buds AND ,, it is nice that no one will ever just eat your food , while you are looking the other way ,, like drunks do to each other.. i was a very hungry drunk,, i'd eat your food in an instant , if you got up to pee..
my weight seems to have leveled off at 145... i replaced the sweet ass bike with and old schwinn 3 speed , has two flats and it still works on the rollers,,, how nice is that.. i can get my cardio back up to snuff .. my NO-fat body % looks great,, i felt like a blob last winter,, and all that is gone, gone, gone..
attitude - it makes everything... i must remember my own teachings,, and THINK of the correct things... i can't dwell on the dumb things that don't matter ... i feel great , people love me , i have everything i need .. i just have to punch these recurring cancer thoughts in the face.
and today's weather here in Indy !!! how can anyone feel bad in the sun at 77 degrees at the end of october ??
ok , that's the update ... i feel fantastic , i just have to think correctly
and one more thing about Esperanza..........................
"just caught" feb 1998
she went form this sunny 80 degree beach,,, to 10 degrees and SNOW , in 14 hours
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
my little buddy
today is the two years since my little friend passed away .
Esperanza , pure bred Puerto Rican street Dog... she was my best friend, we did everything together. She was such a wonderful car companion.. If you remember me from 54th & Primrose,, @ the stop sign,, .. Esperanza would be sitting on her chain, and i'd be playing guitar in the yard..
she had no teeth, just her crusher's , because she ground them off , with her tennis ball addiction... her fangs looked liked cartoon hippo teeth, little pegs.. in her older age she ended up wearing "helping hands",, so she could get in / out of the car , and up / down the steps.. i could go on for days about her .. i'm sure she is watching every move i make, she's buried in the yard, so i get to chat with her daily...
here she is on her last day
the two of us at the park
her favorite thing, chasing rocks in the river
ok , go hug someone special...
cancer update tomorrow
she had no teeth, just her crusher's , because she ground them off , with her tennis ball addiction... her fangs looked liked cartoon hippo teeth, little pegs.. in her older age she ended up wearing "helping hands",, so she could get in / out of the car , and up / down the steps.. i could go on for days about her .. i'm sure she is watching every move i make, she's buried in the yard, so i get to chat with her daily...
ok , go hug someone special...
cancer update tomorrow
Monday, October 22, 2012
day altered , hill-billy-style
as i was returning home from the dog walk, a crew of 2 trucks & 4 guys were backing into the driveway,,, i say wrong house guys, what are you here to do ? - them- Clean out the house & yard..
oh NOT 1810 ,, 1801.... holy shit ............... what if i wasn't home to stop them.. that's right idiot , the house across the street - the one falling apart, with the door open 1 8 0 1......
so my next 2 hours were ruined, the horrorfing scene that could have developed,,, ,, broken in front door, what they would have done with the dogs?????????
when would they have figured out ,, wrong house,,,
does our house look like an empty clean out ??,, fresh cut lawn, no dust on the porch, no fingerprints on the glass storm door... wow i need to calm down
so i'm writing this instead of going over there and asking these stup's , who was gonna figure out wrong house?? .. and probably get a wrench to my skull...
i should just put it in the Mr Lucky file?,, as in LUCKY I was home to stop the whole thing right away ..and NOTHING bad happened
Mr Lucky ... episode #12 .. i had a 1970 dodge charger that i slowly rebuilt , before the "resto-houses" became available.. i drove it when i wanted to have fun, and go 100, and melt some tires.. it was a BLAST .. black on black on black.. .. i get in to go for a ride,, start it up, put my foot on the brakes to put it in gear , and POW !!! the pedal goes to the floor ... a brake line broke,,, still in park, i shut it off...... Mr Lucky,,,,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .............. that could have happened ten minutes later, on a busy street.... OR the DAY BEFORE,, when i had a passenger...
but it happened sitting there,, parked,, how many millions of times had i hit the brakes,, and the exact one that the line broke on , happened in the driveway...... standing still......
now to me,, the car above looked like this one below , in my mind ............................. can you see it ... it just needed 5,000 in body work
yeah,,, the Sexiest Car Ever Made... 1970 Doge Charger
ok, i'm calm,, i'm not gonna go get punched, and i am Mr Lucky again
health report ..
weight 143.7
attitude. Very Good
pain .. tiny bit,,, 3 weeks late for the chiro.. sick last week , $$ this week
strength .. best ever
tumor size,,, smallest yet
throat / tonsils,, no problem
and over the flu in 5 days total, thank you food & vitamins
being back to the old job is great, way less stress than before, some new and better systems in place too. so fantastic !! .. just got to get back in better $$ shape, and everything will be just great
re-test chatter .. from my cancer friends network, it seems there are about 6 weeks after radiation, before any comparison/ tests are determined, so i am two weeks into that window, with almost no tumor, and great health.
ok, i must do a good deed today , to erase my ill will against the guys who didn't check the address carefully ..
out into the SUN we gooooooooooooooooooooooooo.........
oh NOT 1810 ,, 1801.... holy shit ............... what if i wasn't home to stop them.. that's right idiot , the house across the street - the one falling apart, with the door open 1 8 0 1......
so my next 2 hours were ruined, the horrorfing scene that could have developed,,, ,, broken in front door, what they would have done with the dogs?????????
when would they have figured out ,, wrong house,,,
does our house look like an empty clean out ??,, fresh cut lawn, no dust on the porch, no fingerprints on the glass storm door... wow i need to calm down
so i'm writing this instead of going over there and asking these stup's , who was gonna figure out wrong house?? .. and probably get a wrench to my skull...
i should just put it in the Mr Lucky file?,, as in LUCKY I was home to stop the whole thing right away ..and NOTHING bad happened
Mr Lucky ... episode #12 .. i had a 1970 dodge charger that i slowly rebuilt , before the "resto-houses" became available.. i drove it when i wanted to have fun, and go 100, and melt some tires.. it was a BLAST .. black on black on black.. .. i get in to go for a ride,, start it up, put my foot on the brakes to put it in gear , and POW !!! the pedal goes to the floor ... a brake line broke,,, still in park, i shut it off...... Mr Lucky,,,,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .............. that could have happened ten minutes later, on a busy street.... OR the DAY BEFORE,, when i had a passenger...
but it happened sitting there,, parked,, how many millions of times had i hit the brakes,, and the exact one that the line broke on , happened in the driveway...... standing still......
now to me,, the car above looked like this one below , in my mind ............................. can you see it ... it just needed 5,000 in body work
yeah,,, the Sexiest Car Ever Made... 1970 Doge Charger
ok, i'm calm,, i'm not gonna go get punched, and i am Mr Lucky again
health report ..
weight 143.7
attitude. Very Good
pain .. tiny bit,,, 3 weeks late for the chiro.. sick last week , $$ this week
strength .. best ever
tumor size,,, smallest yet
throat / tonsils,, no problem
and over the flu in 5 days total, thank you food & vitamins
being back to the old job is great, way less stress than before, some new and better systems in place too. so fantastic !! .. just got to get back in better $$ shape, and everything will be just great
re-test chatter .. from my cancer friends network, it seems there are about 6 weeks after radiation, before any comparison/ tests are determined, so i am two weeks into that window, with almost no tumor, and great health.
ok, i must do a good deed today , to erase my ill will against the guys who didn't check the address carefully ..
out into the SUN we gooooooooooooooooooooooooo.........
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