now i could be PISSED

    if i go get re-tested, they are going to want to do another PET scan,  "apples to apples" they said .. i just want a soni-gram ,, to prove the tumor  is smaller, other than eyesight,,.. just an office visit  to show them my progress , is going to be over $400, ~~  about  $200  to me ,,  i'd rather save that money for  food..  i don't need the bad energy from the cancer center either..  so this week i'm sending them a letter, with my before and  NOW pictures,  and they can call me  for a  free  "talk",   if they are  EVEN interested in  how i did "it"

my results  are  - almost  NO  tumor, i feel fantastic.  
 and    they still want to offer me Chemo-therapy .      no thanks

the "re-test "  was also a bit of a stress maker , so i don't need that ..     after radiation, it was gonna be  7 weeks  of  chemo.. that  end date will be  december  1st...   so maybe i'll go back and  show them early december..  i'm very confident that by then, i will have NO tumor at all,, where as they predicted a grapefruit size by then...   that will be an easy comparison,,,   hold a grapefruit against my neck, remove, look at neck...   enter data ..            

oh ,,, but  the tumor is NOT the primary, so no tumor, means nothing ??? 

...well -   to me ,, and remember i'm doing this  to myself ,,,,  if the  tumor is 30 times  smaller, the "other cancer" , or  primary ,, should be 20  to 30  times  less too..

bad thinking ???  i don't  think so .............

  so  "the  re-test"  is   "off"  my minds calendar , unless they want to do the free visit / soni-gram deal with me....  if  I was a doctor , and i saw these results , I would  want to hear how it was done ...  IMPOSSIBLE  was what they told me,, ...  if they don't  want to know  how i did it , then i am very right about what i think the  "cancer system "  is / does...   prove me wrong "medicine man"  ...  

i saw two friends ( Char & Marvin)  at the  organic market ..  it was  an awesome moment,, they  had not talked to me since diagnosis,,, i was "in my element"  as in,, right there in the cancer fight  isle....,, fresh food everywhere...  they said they follow my blog ... i am slowly  finding out  who you  40 readers  are...  

i've mentioned  before , that people are very surprised by  how  alive i am , and how freaking healthy i look.. these two had that same feeling ....  and  i heard Char say , on the  way out  ""wow , that made  my day "" ...  and hearing that  MADE MY day ....     INDY is a very loving town... not everywhere , but most of it is... 

and i am so lucky  to be alive.. catching all the love you guys keep sending .. thanks !!!!            ..

ok i just checked the Mayo Clinic's web page for  "alternative " treatments.. now my mind is blown completely....  it said this ..... 

Alternative cancer treatments won't play any role in curing your cancer, but they may help you cope with signs and symptoms caused by cancer and cancer treatments. Common signs and symptoms such as anxiety, fatigue, nausea and vomiting, pain, difficulty sleeping, and stress may be lessened by alternative treatments.
Use alternative cancer treatments as a supplement to treatments you receive from your doctor — not as a substitute for medical care.


holy shit ...   not  a substitute  for  "medical care" ....     h o l y   s h i t  !!!

 then they list  11  "alternative " treatments ,, BUT NOT ONE  is  what you eat ... or     " Diet "

here's the link, so you know i'm not  trashing the Mayo clinic  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/cancer-treatment/CM00002

once again ---

Alternative cancer treatments can't cure your cancer, but they may provide some relief from signs and symptoms.   

 ummmm    ,,,  i    have to  say    horse-poo-ey   to that....  they can stick something in your  veins, a corrosive poison,  microwave you, chop you up ,,   but  talk about  FOOD  ???      naaaaaaaaaaa   ,,  not important

WHERE'S     DIET ?????   my mercy ,,,  now i'm done for today ..

stay positive  folks,, it's gonna be just fine

i gotta get in the  sun NOW ..  bye

 

door closes , window opens

this  should be  my "turn-around" month,  as in, i should be back to normal mentally .. i'm fit as a fiddle  + PLUS + , ( physically ) .. 

everybody's struggle is to feel good  &  be  happy ,  it's not  easy to even "just make it " in today's world..   so i feel great , i should be super happy about that , but i keep letting $ punch me in the brain..  it's  stupid,,, i'm beating cancer !!!  and worried about $$....

 but i hate to owe people , and i need to eat lots of food,, 145.8 today ,, that's the lowest yet , 3 times i've been 145.8 lately ,, that's almost  minus  18  lbs. since july 2nd ......     my radiation mask would have been loose,,, and that would  have caused more damage - whew..     

this  would have been the  last day of radiation treatments,, next week is the "bye " week, and then off to the chemo center, so   i hope to see the radiologist july 16th , and show  him my results..  my guess  is that  they will try to present their  propaganda again,...  and offer up some kind of treatment,,        ...  i'm being selfish again, one of the reasons i want to get  re-tested, is to see the doctor's face when he sees  no visible tumor....    according to him,, it's should be as big as an apple ..

it's bad that i want to kinda make him eat  his words,, i should have bet him,,  that  if i came  back with no tumor , i get to shoot him with the  radiation machine..   and then  give  him  a "little  chemo"  ,, just in case...   because  he  said i needed that too....

i need to get to a wellness center , and have  a complete  physical, and a blood screen ,  i do feel good , but  i haven't  been tested for what i've been  eating , and the vitamin  intake.. that's   why i'm not  aggressive about  sharing my exact  diet..  i don't  want to lead anyone  into a bad  idea..   once i have the results , then i can post a    -  ""here's what i ate  , and it  did this""  -  data sheet

our house smells great!! beans on the stove , yummy ,, and i don't need a lead vest , to consume  these...  a great way to save some $ , and  boost  your diet , it  to buy  dry beans..  soak them overnight,  and then  season them exactly  how you  want..       a  can on beans is like  80 cents,, that's one meal / serving ..  dry beans are $2 or $3 a pound,,  a pound of dry beans  cooks up to be  many  DAYS  of superfood..      season each batch  completely  different , and  they never  get "boring" ..      the  key is to keep the food  & juices  TASTY !!!   so you  want to eat ,,,   and  don't  have  to "choke down"   your life saving  foods

ok  enough preaching , i should  use my own advise,, and snap out of this dip i am in...  

sun  up will bring all the things  i need 

be well my friends!!! 

sunny day & great vibes abound

 i am super lucky , all the time,,  the even call me "Mr Lucky", but that's a  different story... and  song , hee hee

i am lucky to have an organic grocery very near to our house..  the  Krooger is closer , but i don't like / never go in there ,, except for  10  for $10  Mangos...     i dont have to drive across town to get my meds ( organic food)..

today as i was checking out , Ed , the cashier says ,,,  "hey  otto , someone loaded a gift  card for you, so you have X amount in credit"  .............so if you are that nice person who did that for me , i thank you greatly.. i was head to toe goose bumps.. i get the goose-bumps when nice things happen , or when someone sends me good vibes  & love,, i've shown ED the goosebumps effect before, Pogues Run Grocery at 10th  & Rural...  i don't  endorse many things on my blog , for my 36 readers, but i do highly recommend  this place.  i get  all my cancer fighting food in one little area,,it's  just wonderful,,,  and it's not chemo or radiation... most of the people who work there know i'm the  "cancer guy"

 there is a lot of love sent my way , i am humbled to receive it.  i generally always  have thought i was a horrible person, selfish creep,,,,, not  so much now-a-days,, but for many years i've been  battling my mind, and end up -   "looser"   . it's all self inflicted,,  that's why i try so hard to be  over the top positive ...  and if you dress nice , no one can tell you feel  crappy ..  ( my grand mother told me that one ) 

i like to be  a happy spot on people's minds  & eyes ..  i keep my mouth shut unless i can say something nice,   (mom's advice)

the  font thingy keeps switching  , it's not me

here's today's  point ---   i am doing so well in my fight  because of all the love i am receiving, the food & vitamins are doing the job too, but throw all the good vibes on top, and  -- you've seen the photographs-  it's WORKING !!!! 

 i am so glad i went public with my ailment,,  some say i am   " inspiring "  . i just hope to be a good person, and  make  / help who-ever  deals with me feel better ............ i'm no genius,, i'm just a guy who did some research,  and was able to get healthy , instead of  sick..  i feel so bad for the 1000's of people who just  "sign on" to the medical industry, and end up  in pain.... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic_pain

 pain is horrible , my arms were on fire for 19 years, i thought it was carpel tunnel , but  i had a "broken" neck  ,,,  fixed that with WATER , physical therapy  and traction ,,  no pills  or surgery.. the diagnosis was going to be a "5 vert fuse"  aka FRANKENSTEIN ...    i still hang / use traction everyday at home, i listen to healing tones while i hang, and use dumb bells at the same time,,....... 3 good things at once  @  7 am everyday

i feel great -   thanks  to YOU  !!  it's working..  


health report :

weight                           148.7
attitude                          good
pain                                     0

tumor  --    staying small , i can tilt my head so it's invisible, but i don't  do that when i take my daily  pic..  i take  4 pics a day and keep the one that shows it the most..   


well that's a lot  of blabbin  for today.. i hope you are all having a wonderful time , and all your dreams come true


ding!

more positive action..

i have  to keep focused on my  great results so far,,  not on a date,,  i will still have  cancer  october 16th, at the 104  days after  diagnosis... but  it  will be less.  

same  goal as the doctors,, smaller tumor , less cancer.. 

i enjoy no side effects..  they couldn't  offer me that

i have too much  good  stuff, too many loving friends, to be bummed out..  

i failed at the hot  rod shop,, but that's ok,,  they need an actual fabricator , not  some old  cook with a good attitude..

i was  driving the chief nuts.. so we looked at  it this way ..  he  created a job for me, so i could make some  quick money to buy food, and pay my bills,, ...    
pretty nice if you ask me,,  and i get to  walk away before anything  goes  bad....

my november  gig list is looking good.   

i need to get out of the house more,, i'm the cancer guy  with bills - if i stay home.... if i get  out   and blab  my story , that feels good.

25  days till 24 years  sober,,    one more year and i can drink again ..........................................................................


no,,  that will never  happen...    i did  say ( to myself )  in july , before i dumped the doctors..  ""if they are putting chemo in me , i'm drinking""  


the  debate is on in the other room,,  wow ,, bla bla bla,  trillion , trillion, trillion, regulation, jobs bla bla bla ...

shut up and feed america REAL food,, there are ships near all those soldiers,, pick them up, bring them back,  have them plant food , they can live in the vacant houses, for free

it is that simple,, no war  $$ ,=  free medicals & food for the homeless ..

ok no more talk like that..

i ate lots of food  this week ,, started with a bigger bowl,  duh,,,,  i'm a bit orange from the carrots..  been on the light  weights everyday , my strength is good..  my old neck problems are not even thought about .. weighed  under 150 all week.. 


 i'm loving the clean shaved face,,  the cashier called  me young man .. last week they were calling me  gramps



   

time to get back at it !!

i saw my dad today  , it was his birthday  .. 82..

i cant even imagine the planet in 28 years . when i'm  82 ...........  big'ole charred chunk of carbon..

i was able to talk about my story to some comics last night..  i think when i have the evidence that the food thing works, i'd like to  do some   one man shows... the first segment would be the cancer story, and then a super funny segment to finish.

the cloudy  day had  me sleepy 


weight          148.4
attitude       improving 
pain level         0

overall  status  . fantastic,, for a guy who has cancer , and disaster was pretty much certain ,  i feel extremely lucky ...   

how dare them

90 days ,, they went  quick, i feel great , people say i look good , i shaved  yesterday.    i look super young again..


i am amazed at how people are brainwashed about  cancer , and how to treat it...  i posted something about a plant in the rain forest having  cancer fighting  values... some guy chimes in with a  " where's the evidence, and documentation ???"        he adds -    i should  not be  putting out false hopes...

then the  "kicker" was  ... he wrote  ---     " what if  some one tried this ,, instead  of  chemo ? "


people without cancer,, are   talking smack about  " alternative " treatment...  ...  how dare them.


hope is about all some people have ,,,  anything that increases  HOPE , and  is  real , is  good

anyone with cancer  should  do mountains of research,,,  days  & weeks ,, the cancer is  in you , you better know everything about it..................  EVERYTHING  that might happen to you ,, .. in weeks   , months , and even years...

  i want to live  long time,, i want to die peacefully & quickly...   my new healthy lifestyle has me in wonderful shape , i will continue this until they outlaw  organic food. ...  i will feel great as long as i can continue  this food plan.


a comedian friend of mine posted he was just diagnosed  with thyroid cancer,,,,  the  doctor told him -

 ""it's the  best cancer to get, because of the cure rate""...

the  comic compared that to    --   getting sent to  prison,, but  getting raped by a guy with the  smallest penis

ok it's late, i have a new plateau to cross.

 be well  , share  love , give compliments 

no freaking way

there's a  thing called the Law of Attraction..  you can believe it or not.. 

anyway . i shaved today !!!!  done with the cancer beard , due dates, and anything that binds me up...


so ,, believe it OR not ...  less than one minute after i shaved,, my phone rings and it's  the oncology lab...  i did not answer. 

  it was   cancer calling,, daaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmnnnnnnnn, it knows my every move  ..

so new month tomorrow,, 90  days into this bad trip,  but the dip in my life is done, it's  up up up up up  from here on in...

                               

                                          and check out this young  fellow

  ha ha ha ha ha ... i feel good

11 hours for 11 minutes

tonight i got  to tell my "cancer story" in front of  people, through a PA system..

i had a few moments of where i started crying, the crowd was frozen.  

i did end with a good laugh , and many people asked more  questions after.


fantastic  11 minutes


i had a decent size breakdown today, in the morning,,  show biz is wacky,, you leave your house crying , depressed, and "beat" , heading off to make people feel good

and i did , and they made me feel good back