church shows

     i like  to  do shows at  church events, i can be  my clean wacky self, and introduce my  sobriety years, and they  love me ...  and then i get lots  of  hugs after the show too.

i ate  very much more food yesterday , and weighed 156 today ..



there are  some people tracking the photo time line ,, here's  today's

i hope i don't  get squished , like the  electric car,, when  my story gets out... 

and the  font thing changed by itself , i'm not  trying to be stylish 

 here is the  pic  right  after  getting home from the  biopsy..



                                   carrots  before .. 

                                and after  the juicer ............

                                                                                               instant  yummy & energy



have  a super  sunny day !!

i'm just a speck

i want to make sure that i am  NOT  making anyone mad about  "my" out look  about  my cancer.        i can only write about  the feelings i have ..  i am a daredevil,, i  'walked-away"  from  treatment ,,  be careful  of  what i say. my influence  must  be researched ,    

my rule.. if it doesn't grow out of the ground ,, i am not  putting it in my body ,, ,, so  you  figure out how to  deal with information that  sounds "too good to be true".. 

my tumor ,,  it's what got me into the doctor's office in the first place,, is what  i use  as a reference  point.. it changes shape  daily,,  it is   somewhat  "soft" now,, it's the  size of a   "smartie" or a pez,,   it was bigger than a 25 cent gumball, on july 25th .. my  tonsils,,, "that were supposed to come  out " , are still  fine... 

if you  don't   know that  i  "have  cancer" , you can not see the tumor.. no freaking way the radiation would have had it this small, with no  side  effects...  no side effects, one more time ,,,, no side  effects 

i want to see the piece of paper that  has the data that  determined that i have  cancer,,,  it  has to be some numbers , or photographs, that a human being,  decides that ,, yep , these  #'s, or  Pic's  =  Cancer..

 i also want that person's name ..

  .. that little transfer of information really screwed my life around,, and  could have  REALLY had me in a world of shit if i was "doing treatment" .. i bet  that person was eating lunch when they looked at it, and  said  ..  oh  yeah  , this  one's cancer 



i try to keep this  kinda funny ,, but sometimes the  frustration spikes  go to the moon alice..

i have feelings  back in my hand again , from the   brake  job the  other day ,,, whew, i thought it was ruined forever

when i was in pain with my broken  neck,, i drew  millions  of  pictures,, the  pain would  stay on the paper,, my blog is  helping like that 

here's a drawing of my tumor progress

 
the   C   is   the  cancer  .

. and here's  how mad i was  when the pet scan blew my tumor up .................

                                                            july 24th


now ,,, ( sept 12th) ,, you  seriously have to "look for it "  to see it  ...


ok  a happy thought.. my guitar works great!!!,,  i fixed up a gee-tar how i wanted  it , and it  works fantastic.. ha ha


i will post  some  broken neck drawings soon ,,  not for kids 


here's one of my  drawings,, colored by my best!!!!!! friend

 ok-  now that's a happy  ending to today's  blog


   

24 hours missing

i sure  wish this was  over,,,  and even when it is , the  food  &  lifestyle change will stay,,   i just want  the  "cancer" word  out of my system..


i used to work 30  to 50  hours at  my day job,, and then the  comedy shows on top  of that,,  i don't  get  bored,, but i sure would like  some  "day work" ,, and now that i know  "treatment"  will not be in the way of a  day job,, i need to score one..  the   organic  food is about  $25 -  30  a  day



i should have  nothing to bitch at ,, i feel great , my progress is  better that anyone  could have imagined ..  i'm just like anyone now,, low  on  funds ... 


cleaning the  house  doesn't  cost me anything .. i can do that  today !! 


ok !!!  thanks for the support

i missed wednesday

cleaned & slept most of the day ,, and i ate  extra food

white feet the indian

i've been relaxing in the  sun ,, in  30 minute segments,, no  sunscreen ,  but my feet  never get any.. i  always have  socks on ....the  sun gives  you   a VERY high dose of  vitamin D3,, for  free.. cancer don't like  no D3...  so here they are  ,,

                                                                       my white feet  ...

  crazy,,  my legs are  THAT  tan,, my butt is  super white  too , but no one's  seeing that

  i'm feeling  good,,  ,,, did  ALL my exercises today .. just have to bike  later

from late sunday night/ early monday am

my friend who passed away from his battle,,,,  told me to keep the  blog truthful, and  don't hold  back, or try to dress anything up .. 



my dad called today and asked  how it  was  going..   i said , you can barely see the tumor,,, he was  like  "what , no way" ,, yep  almost  gone..   then he asked  how i was feeling ,, "fantastic !!"

that was a great  call ,,   i felt super happy  hearing him say , "so what you're doing is working ?"   yes  it  is .............

 i would  have been 4 weeks into radiation, ,, i think  if i was being radiated  that conversation would have been way different..  maybe not ,,....

some one out there might be  thinking,, this  guy keeps talking about  'that tumor' ,,, when the tumor is  NOT the "primary " cancer,, well yes that is correct,, but they were going to radiate the tumor in hopes to shrink it,, and cut my tonsils out, because  they "MIGHT" have been  the  primary..   the doctor  said  his  goal was to make the tumor smaller , get the cancer out.. i agree with that,, 


my brother in law saw me  yesterday, he said  "where did it  go?" ,, so i point to it,,  right here ,, he  said  , " it was like a golfball,, just weeks ago !! ""

ok ..........  enough tumor talk.........................



i had 4  days under  150 , last week ....  147.5  was  the lowest ...   that's why i took that pic at 150 ,, for a good reference ...  when i was 18 in super shape i weighed 149... 

i have lost much of my body fat ,, at this  weight , i'm at 9%...  this week i'm going to add more food , and get back on the bike, everyday ...  all the weight i've lost was the crappy stuff i used to eat,,

lots of bagels, coffee, yogurt, apple sauce, rice, pasta , pizza , bread,, red bull. ice cream,,, ..   i just need to force  down more of this good stuff,, get up to 153 ..

i left a comedy show tonight,, i knew  it was going to be  a disaster ,, the first night of the NFL ,, chaaaaaaaaa,,  and then  read  some douchebag at the bar , called the "owner" , who called the place , and  had the comedy shut down , so douchey  could hear the  game ... and it was a smoking place , so i didn't need that air anyway .. 

today was  really nice , in many  ways

another nice moment was knowing my dad was going to say to his wife,,,  "he  said the tumor is almost  gone !!"   and  for the next 30 minutes  , they'd be very happy about  that






 this  is Esperanza,
 super happy in the  river, the year before she had to wear  her supports

 

 we'd  go everyday , until it was too cold,, 

she  chased  rocks, and the splash they made ,,

ok that's  today's

missed saturday

it was  so nice i stayed  outside as much as possible saturday,, and  ended up not posting my blog..

 
                                                             still doing great 

                                                             5 ' 10"       150 lbs