sunny in indianapolis

things are getting better , short post today, been in the   nice weather with the  dogs.. Zuzu is now  jumping  so she can see OVER the top of the fence.. when she arrived she was a pudgy little dough-ball, with big boobs.. now she  looks like a chawowwa that has gone all "stewie griffen " in the gym.
higher than this fence.. eek 

                                                               that's a  6 foot leap


                                                          and  today's tumor photo

                                                                 that's it for today ...

                                                     keep it real,  love what you feel

a relaxing exercise

 every time  i perform , i have some kind of goal, or something specific i am testing............

in my effort to stay away from stress, and calm down,  i hitched a ride to  a comedy show last night..  a FIRST !!!  ( i'm doing new things ) ---   .  i always drive myself, so i know there will be no modifications to my plan / trip.  i like being in my car  by myself,,  it's my own little universe, otto-ville...       normally i HATE being a passenger but - last night it  was  OK..     we got home a bit later than i thought , but  no problem,, no wear & tear on my car , and i gave $5  for gas,    it's  all good........

i also did another "first"   , something i thought i'd NEVER  do .. i wore  jeans on stage .. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah , no way!!    , yes way.. 

to me , if  people pay to get  in, then who ever is on stage  should be dressed nicely .. put some effort into looking like  you were planning to entertain people.. show - biz  respect..    i've always worn black slacks, nice  socks, proper shoes, and fancy shirts or an impressive "racing jacket" ... (( 2 people wanted to buy last night's jacket ))   it's  my  "comedy suit"  like a fire-proof suit racers wear..  when i'm in that, it's all business,,   you can catch on "fire", or even get "murdered" on stage,,  and you can  "bomb" too ,   and ruin it  for everyone,  so you better have the propper attire,  you hope  to "kill" , but that leaves no mess

so, in my LESS stress otto  plan ,, as i was getting ready  last night , i said,, try  jeans tonight, "no one"  cares, and just be relaxed & funny ,,  it was a college show,,,,,,,, i figured  some or most of the other comics would be  dressed "as they were" , and  i'd  still look  sharp & professional, with my hair  done up, and a nice  white STP  jacket, on top of the jeans..             by  NOT  having my "show-biz" slacks on at 7 pm,, i was  able to relax , like  a  guy with jeans on,, until moments before my set,  ( @ 10:35),  that was a new feeling too...     normally i'm tweaked about being on stage as soon as i "gear up",, but  last night i was Cpt. Chill,,  it was  very different.

it was also a "contest"  last night,,   i usually don't "do well" in contest situation..  auditions - yes !!  contest - not  so much --                            i like  doing a 30 minutes set , where people can fall in love  with me , it's paced, and it all fits together ,   contest's are like  - do yer funniest stuff- quick !!!  and the  crowd is all judge mental about  "funnier  than that",,   or someone brings 50 people, and they do the    ' 3 monkeys '   for  all the other  performers... bla  bla bla..

 so last night , 3 minutes before i was to perform  , that's when i put the guitar on,  &  lost my pick , (- broke a   cardboard  beer  coaster to replace it ),  didn't freak out ,,,,  got ready and ..........destroyed the place..   i had a blast ,, more than just  " did my set" , actually  had  fun with the  kids  there , as it was happening ,,  and ,,,,,,,, another MIRACLE !!!!   i moved  forward in the contest ..                             the possibility of moving forward was very good,, i'm pretty much a veteran , 10 + years, against some  Nu-bee's,, but you never know.. so last night was a nice extra smile for me 

my "goal" last night ,, 
be a clam passenger  ** check !...  
relax and don't stress over the Jeans ** check!!,             
have  fun ON stage ** check !!!  
get home safe ** check !!

a  "side bonus" , was to  move forward in the contest. ** check !!!

this might not seem too cool to you , but  for me , wow !!!!!!  very uplifting experience...

so far this new  month has been superpositive and on track.

the  LESS STRESS program is working,, chill ~~~otto , breathe, think correctly.  s t r e t c h   o u t ,  eat enough, smile more,, spread   happiness

attitude -------  wonderful
weight -------        146.8
pain ---------        let's say   zero..  got to the chiro today
tumor -------     still there, the little bastard
cardio ------      improving , been back on the bike
overall ........           9.3


i'm having  5  or  6 meals of this  size  daily ..this  is  "my bowl"

                             happy eating everybody !!!!!!!! ......... 
         japanese sweet potatoes , tomatoes, cucumbers , cilantro, avocado .  tiny amount of fresh Habanero peppers

ya got 14 seconds ??

thank you !!!!!  my secret Pogues Run angels,  

 i went in today , and they said someone loaded another card..  wow  o wow

i'm so blessed to have  you nice people out there  helping me 

talked with another cancer survivor today, amazing !!

fantastic day, every thing is  wonderful

this month has been already  a real nice  uplifting change compared to the past few 

alright,  i'll  have more tomorrow  

early christmas

i went to Pogues Run today , and there was another GIFT CARD miracle !!!    

THANK YOU  !!!!!!   whoever you are , i walked in with some wrinkly dollars and a baggie of change,,  carefully pricing as i went ,,, and then -- "otto you have a  another gift card here"    shazaam !!!   i got 2 extra apples and another tomato , some  quinoa, and had to hold back my happy crying ...

i am receiving  so many good  vibes  and  buckets of love !!  i had a  blog planned for today , but i'll write it for tommorrow,,  today's  gift  has  overwhelmed me in a very good way..

i'm a few paychecks away from getting most of my debt paid...   and as i typed that sentence , the cancer payment people called,,,  i missed my october , but i'm ok  to pay in two weeks.. whew ...  the lady was very nice,,  i guess having cancer gets you a small amount of lee-way ,,,  i've had bill collectors call , many  years ago , and those people were NASTY !!!

health report ::

how do i feel --     super great
weight          --      144.8
attitude        --      fantastic
strength        --     very good, getting  "ripped"  & "cut"
tumor           --     smallest ever, hard to photograph
overall score   --   9.2


sunny days are great , i just wish it was warmer,,  28 this morning let me know winter is on the way ,, and the dogs are gonna be inside more,, and the wrestling matches they have are almost WWE  worthy...  they grab each others faces and tug away ,, it's  crazy , that they haven't pooped out their eyes yet..  Zuzu is now able to jump to the top of the fence,  6ft.,  once she learns to grab the top, she's going over like  Johnny Rotten...  we'll  have to put a net  up..  Bella  just sits there and watches her crazy room-mate spaz out over the squirrels.

ok much love everybody , stay in the positive

knock knock.......
who's  there ......
cancer ..........
go away , you can't come in

  

having a split personality is a plus

i am my own "doctor",,  i have one patient, ME , if i die , i am out of business,, i REALLY care about my patient. i love that goofy bastard,  he 's a bit nutty  at times , but so far  he has done  everything i've recommended. 

 So  far , fantastic results..  better than the other doctors who wanted me as a patient.. and if i die , they will have other patients.   i would have been  ONE of their 100's of patients..  i would have been "a file" , just opened and looked at when i was there.  if i died, they'd "file me" in the dead pile,,  then it'd be  "who's next"  

as my own HEALTH  PROVIDER, i am focused on my patient every second, every minute , every hour, every day ,  every night , every  week ..  i get   no weekends off , no vacations in St Thomas,.   My patient needs me , i've dedicated  100% of my energy to him -...   i know i care more about my patient than the other doctors care about their 100 + patients..  i might be wrong , but , i don't think the doctor i met  in July  is thinking about what  i am going to eat today, how much exercise i'm getting , and what  i am even THINKING.  he's busy with  100's of people, and trying to figure out which island in the carribean  to go to , St Thomas was nice, but  there's  got to be a better one

i don't have the machines they have, i just have inquisitive ideas.     i don't have any BIO-Hazard chemicals locked in a  2 inch  thick- stainless steel  case..  i don't need a lead vest to  treat my self  ~ ( eat ).       my office doesn't have  crappy "feel-good " art  on the walls,,  i DO have  food guides and  nutritional pamphlets..  

i am not  "getting my affairs in order". i'm NOT  prepping to die  

 my patient and i get along nicely ..  we talk everyday, not  once a day , or once a week,,,  i can get  questions answered  right away ,, no waiting on  a  "call - back"  , my doctor is not  at a convention, or out to dinner,  or looking at the wrong file that  someone carelessly handed him.. no  OOOPS ,, wrong guy , here is the correct  file...  i'm not shuffling my file with 3 other doctors who all have many other patients

my "file"  is food receipts , and a how i feel chart , and how much do i weigh,  how strong am i today ?  my file is always open, it is 135 days ( pages)    ,,  it is not in that file case with 1000's of others...

so far i haven't been upset with my patient, i support his ideas,  he's doing lots of research,  we can both look at this stuff whenever new ideas arise  .. and his results are impressive....................... 
#1. almost no tumor .......  no grapefruit,,  !!
#2. he feels great ( not  a bad thing for a cancer patient)
#3.  he's  stronger than he's been for years
#4.  he does everything recommended , no "guff"
#5.  he has a great attitude ( for someone who is "supposed"   to be VERY  ILL and near death  , really soon - december)
#6.  he's  100% dedicated  to his recovery
#7.  he's ok with this  taking a "while"-  it's a lifestyle , not  an end date


 "patient"  that's a wacky word,,  i am a patient , and i am being patient with my progress,,  i am not rushing to be "cancer free",,  rushing  anything causes stress -

STRESS -  the  #3 CAUSE  of cancer,    
 #1 - enviroment / pollutants.   ( chemo is a pollutant )
 #2. get ready --  RADIATION ..  ( from tests , microwaves, cell phones, electronic devices )  .  

the  SUN is NOT bad for you .. don't fall for that bullshit from a large corporation..

okie smokes BatMan !!!  ,, it's not easy to stay away from those  3,, what can you do ??   it's  not that hard  Robin,  eat right, exercise,  and  don't smoke for starters


what you decide to put IN your body  ( diet Mt Dew ? ).......... or  ....... ( filtered water).....  ( organic vegetables )  or ................( processed   GMO  substances -  you can't even call it - food )..    YOUR  precious body , the only ONE  you get,  you put "whatever"  in it with YOUR  hands...   you must decide  NOW !!!  - how  healthy do i want to be.

ok, you're thinking --  but  organic food COST SO MUCH,,  "i don't have  time  to cook" , or go to the grocery store, i can't  figure out  those  numbers on the food stickers ,, AND  you just saw a story on FOX news, MSNBC, and CNN, that organic food  has NO health benefits over  regular "food" ..    ..............well 15 different prescriptions, a few medical procedures, and a funeral  cost a lot more 

and you trust  FOX news? CNN? MSNBC???   sorry to hear that .. sucker

and you don't have to cook much,, most of it is eaten RAW / uncooked.. cooking  vegetables  KILLS the nutrients.. look it up .. and so it's BLAND sometimes.. how's that chemo taste??


organic food / vegetables have a      "9"  as the first # ,, and usually the  "9"  is  even bigger than the other  #'s  , so you can see it easier... how hard is that??????,,  a lot harder than  a Hardley's  drive thru......  NO  !!! NO !!  NO !!!   remember,, it's going INSIDE  you

some "thick skinned" fruits  & vegetables don't have to be organic,, research , research , research,, for your  health,, don't play Angry-birds .. see you  do have time  

i survived  dope & alcohol,, i don't put that shit in me any more. ever .........what am i stupid ,, wacky yes , stupid no

 i "got cancer" -- so i don't put cancer producing things  IN me anymore.........  so i will be  a "cancer survivor "  but that term is not cool with me.. most people  "survive TREATMENT"  ,,  they were strong enough to live through "treatments"   and then the  doctors say - hey  - look what we did,, more  horse-poop...   and if you  die,,  well, that was a good chance anyway.. next 

 so i say i am BEATING cancer,  i don't want  people to think the cancer doctors have fixed me , they were "scheduling" my near death experience, not  a path to wellness,,  if i lived through  treatment , then i might  get well ,,,,,  but they  were  gonna HURT me first..  crazy talk  

Costco , the BIG BOX store,,  i'd never been there before i had cancer,, but the organic carrots there are only  67 cents a pound... that's  1/2 price  compared to  the organic grocer ..  so i have to get them there , its a $$ issue..  i get 3 -10  bogs per visit (   5 or 6 days worth )..   i'm  the  guy with  3 items at Costco,, what a dick,,  3 things...   and i carry them with my arms,, no kart...  the " organic room "  is a little  "hut" ,,,     WAY in the back ,, kinda hidden  behind the MEAT  area,, HARD TO FIND  at first...  30 lbs, carried by hand  - ALL THE WAY from in back.. oooooooooh  the pain... but people are NICE !!!, they say , ""i'm going up front, put those in my kart , you don't have to carry them ""     but i want to carry them , it's a 30 lb workout  for free......  then at the checkout , it's like.. what's up with the carrots ?????????    so i say with a firm powerful voice -  I'M BEATING cancer....   yesterday 8 people immediately swung around to look at me -  "beating cancer ?'' they asked .. yes !!!!!!!  with food  & vitamins...   and i get all those immediate  good vibes as bonus..  one lady asked many questions,, she got the quick story about the "Grapefruit" - silly talk ...  NO medicines- NO machines.


i didn't know  how my life and thought process  would be altered so much from having cancer..  some "goals"  have been pushed aside,  if you are not alive & healthy , no goals can be reached anyway ..

now i am on a new quest - stay as healthy as possible, and  get the word out --  you can "fix yourself" ,, i'm  NOT on a negative,   cancer industry bashing program.   negativity BREEDS   illness


i want you all to be well & happy