10 month re-cap

10 months since diagnosis , and what  have i learned.....

positive energy is the key to recovery / healing

what you think, you become

some things  you  can't  do alone

my body is stronger than my mind  



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now  some blabbin'

physically , the last 10 months  have been great .   i  only  put  good stuff inside me ,  exercised and stretched .  i feel  way better than i ever have , and i'm in no pain...  not bad for a kid my age. 

mentally , what a nightmare. all self induced..   10 months ago  i was freakin out big time.  not because i thought i was gonna die, i thought  i was going to be in a lot of pain.   cancer spreads , your body hurts, i didn't want any of that.


so my mind trip , you couldn't see it on me.     i did  turn orange from the foods  & the sun,  other than that , i looked  better  quickly.   i  used the blog to unleash my  emotions .   if i tried to keep  all that crap inside , or to my self , i surely would have  crumbled into a poison soaked mess.        and  you   got to read all about it      

   the roller coaster  cancer puts you on is  terrifying ..    the clinky , ca-chunk of that slow uphill.. that's like seeing the doctors and doing research.      then the pause at the top,,    . and  release.....
       what's gonna happen ????...    and  i chose   the  "no seat-bar" car  , so to speak.   and yes,  the first hill , scary as hell..      each  dip  and  hill , loop , and tight turn was  another month gone, and i felt better, less scared . .      now , it's May ,, i feel like the coaster is  slowing down to stop.   i've got my hands  up , a big smile on my face..  almost thinking - that was fun.......              i'm gonna get off this scary ride,  and enjoy the rest  of the park...   but  i do have that snapshot of my face on that first hill,  it's not  laughing.....

what's  bad  about the coaster slowing to a stop , is ,  that a whole new load of people are going to get on. 

this  ride should have  been closed  50 years ago.................


and here's my new haircut..

  

                           i will have  gray side walls now 

ok , thanks  for playing along