i am tired of having cancer, and all the time it eats up,,
if i would have know 3 months ago , my body would feel this good, i would have not even gone to any doctors.. i'm still having trouble with the mind funk... the mind funk is from the diagnosis and fear induced about what might happen,, i have to get over it , i feel weak mentally
at least i'm not suffering from "treatment" ,, i have to keep this thought going... i have no physical ailments, beside my little blob..
we've entertained the thought of why get re-tested ? , if i still have cancer, and its less than before, then i keep this program going. until little by little my cancer is gone.. i don't really care if i have this tiny bump , it's not spreading , so what's the big deal
my new stress ( this is stupid ) is,, how ate up i am about having this cancer thing done..
i haven't been on stage enough,, that's it , !! .. well october i have 6 good shows so far and i was invited into a movie , and we have a read thru tuesday.. october will be my new month of hyper positivity..
no more complaining
well , i just lost some more viewers,, i hope not
Sam here. Hang in there, Otto. I think you're right about performing. Why not get it checked out again? Might confirm some things for you, and prove to the docs that you made the right decision for yourself. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteWe need to have a Steak-n-Shake meeting so I can shake you. Your too heavy to try a shaken baby deal on. Look. STOP worrying about the mental funk. It's in the back of your head, it will stay there till you get it out of there (I can help there), or you make it a reality. Remember, worry is a mental stressor, and mental stress leads to physical breakdown. Haven't I tought you anything? lol.
ReplyDeleteRemember this... ALL CELLS in your body have a set life expectancy, then they are replaced by the same type cells, This cycle is repeated over and over our whole lives. For example: The cells in your colon live for only 3 days, red blood cells live for 120 days.
Stack 10 oreos on top of each other on the table. You with me so far? Cookie #1 is on the bottom, #10 on the top. This stack represents a thickness of lets say.... the cells of the colon. (Can be any cells, like your neck, glands, etc....) Now crack Oreo #1 and #2. No problem, there are still 8 "Good/Healthy" cookies. Now in 3 days, eat the top cookie (It's life expectancy is over). Replace that cookie you just ate with a new one on the bottom. Crack that one. Keep repeating this and in a month or so, the bottom cookie that was cracked is now at the top, and below that, all the rest of them are cracked as well.
What does this mean? this whole row of cells (represented as cookies) has now become a bunch of "Sick" cells. That is what cancer cells are. "Unhealthy/mutated cells" How did they get like this? Stress? Worry? Toxins in the foods we eat? Pesticides etc... you name it, doesn't matter what got them that way, your lifestyle got you there with the shit food and stress probably.
Ok, here is where you went down the correct path Otto..DING. You keep down the same path you were on before you heard the C word, or you about face and change your lifestyle. You are doing an awesome job there! You changed your diet drastically, and are sticking too it! And for that awesome change of lifestyle you will get rewarded with Oreos. Put a fresh, NON CRACKED oreo in position #1 at the bottom of the stack. In a couple days, repeat that. Then in a month or so, you have now replaced (got rid of) the shitty cells and replaced them with good/happy/healthy cells!!
Go back to the Dr? No, not yet you don't have enough good cookies in place yet, and you know they will crank up that propoganda machine again and put more worry in your brain so they can get it to come back. don't give them the pleasure of saying shit to you brother!
Remember that guy I told you about that had stage 4 cancer that spread to his brain, lungs and liver. He changed his diet went back for recheck 3 months later and they repeated the PET scan and found NO TRACE whatsoever of Cancer. Did they shake his hand and congratulate him for beating it? nope they gave him a full dose of Chemotherapy as a "Preventitive measure" "Just in case" He immediatley went down hill and died within a year of Leukemia caused by the Chemo. At autopsy, they discovered NO CANCER.
So I am telling you this my friend. You are doing fine, on the right path, and don't waste your time going back till sometime next year when you are 100% non cracked oreo strong. This is how things should "stack up" with your condition. EVERYONE has cancer cells in them. because they are just our normal cells who become unhappy looking from the shit we injest, pollution, stress, etc... but most of our bodies notice these cells and immediatley neutralize them so when we get tested cancer doesn't show up.
See you in a couple wednesdays at the moshpit. we could even carpool if you want. Take care...DING. :)