sunny but COLD

i am not blogging everyday,,  i don't have anything "new" everyday,  so i  try to get 5 posts a week..

i feel great , and it's almost January.  The  doctors said i'd be in dire straights soon...as in complete cancer take-over 
 ha ha ha .. no i am not

yesterday was GREAT !!!!   in june i booked a wedding , for 12-21-12.. oooooh  end of world gig !!..  so the months go buy , i don't hear anything about the gig,,   2 weeks ago , i saw  the guy ,, and  he mentioned nothing,, it's his daughters wedding,, so it's a big deal if you ask me,, but  he mentions  nothing....  hmm ,, did i loose the gig ??     so tuesday,, the  18th , i see him again, we do a show together , and he mentions  nothing again,, 3 days till wedding ???...   i don't ask,, figuring he'd mention it first ,, like  - are you stoked for friday ??    but no,, a big hug and a  "see you later"...     i had requested off from the "job" , so i could  do the wedding,,and had the  21st off,, all good  & ready to go..
   5 pm thursday , one of the other managers at work asks if i can work for him friday night,, so i need the $$ and  i thought there's  no gig , so  heck yeah !!  ,,,   moments later , i get a text  about the wedding,,  "are you ready for tomorrow, ? arrive at  noon"...  oh  hell yeah !!!   a noon gig !!  and i still get to work at night ..   sweet ....  

  the gig went great , i did get a bit lost in the country parts of Shelbyville , but  still got  to work on time,, and work was a breeze too...

not a bad  day for a guy who was supposed to be "this close to death"  ( the small distance between your thumb and index  finger = 3 sheets of paper )  , right about now.

i get bits  of  anger when i think of what the cancer industry was gonna  do to me .. i wonder  how many more  people  could "walk away " and be better off,, i know it is working for me .

happy holidays everybody  !!!    i hope  everyone gets what they want .. 

 i am alive ,  my wish has been granted 

awesome

i am not a fan of  all  of those 'cancer awareness' agencies , or the   "raise money for the cure" ,    those type of things...  

i followed  a 70 year old program,  and  , wow , it's working ,,  

 the people who have been working on the "cure " for 50 years, where all this  donated  $$  goes,,  yeah right,,   they haven't  discovered what i know about fighting cancer  ??  

i'm just a goof with the internet...  i learned / found out what would help me in just a matter of  hours  ~   ( 80 ) ... and my "cure" has nothing to do with all the failed research, and   billions of dollars spent with horrible results.

i walked in this club last night , and this sign was at the door , i was like  .  hell yeah !!!!  

  oh my i was laughing so hard,, zero !!   not even  did the bar  kick in 50 ,, so it wouldn't be  zero ..             

zero ,,,  nothing ..          and i thought  ...  as it should be ... 

 if a citizen really wanted to help  "fight cancer" ,, find someone who HAS cancer , drive to their house, and  hand THEM the  cash you  wanted to donate...  they could buy some nice food, or pay a bill,,,  but  don't  give it to some lost cause

here's an example,, some one , or some people, have been loading  credits at Pogues Run  for me,,  i'm guessing they are  a blog reader, i don't know , i am so thankful  for  what they are doing ,,,    that $$ goes  DIRECTLY to fight cancer..  it doesn't get thrown into some fund where they have to buy shirts  and ribbons  so people are  'aware' there is a fight against  cancer....  it goes directly to MY fight ,, more of a challenge now,, but it  does  something very good!!!!  

so next time you are gonna donate to some 'cause'  , take a few minutes to look up where that $ might really end up ..  maybe it  IS a good thing , but if it isn't ,, give that donation somewhere it will actually  be used...  buy food and  donate it  ,, something like that 



i feel super alive, what a wild , 5 months it's been...     

monday the 17th

we had the company xmas party last night,,  there was one of those  gift grab/exchanges..   i submitted one of my Poor Man's GPS,,,, the  exchange was about  1/2 over ,,, one of the cashier  gals  had lotto tickets , so i stole them from her ,,,,    with her new pick , she picked the GPS ,,,,she had no clue what it was,, it was awesome, she hated it , and tried to give it away at each draw,,,  some one  else  took my lotto tickets , so i took the GPS  back  from her, and she got  a new pick  from the table....    walking to the  table she says....  """oh my god , i'm so glad to get rid of that stupid thing"""  ,, she  got a super  cool garden knome..

the  cloudy days are  hard to get moving ,,   cold  & rainy , no thanks,,                           the  dogs  go nuts inside  if we don't get to go  walking,.

what a relief it is to be free  from the  doctors.  now i feel like i just wasted 5 months  thinking  all the bad thoughts about  "having cancer" ...

 ok, i'm really happy  about everything .. it's all good ,, 

another thank you!!!!!!!        to the Pogues Run food angel or angels !!!!! .. it is so very nice , and it makes me feel so good



feeling great , thanks for all the  good  vibes    

big moment , really happy

i am calm,  finally .   i talked to my Dad,, he's ok  with  no CT  test. 

 that was the last "hurdle " for me ... i feel like i'm free now..

i did eat too much last week, and i am up to 154..   i feel chubby today,, just a few weeks ago i was in the low 140's...   it was kind of an experiment,,, i wanted to see if i could  gain weight -  and i can 


well it's all systems GO  now !!!!  
 
i am free from the cancer industry  !!!    

if i was under their  "care" , i'd be  re-tested in a few months,, and  on a side  by side comparison,,  my treatment has been much better than what they offered....  i am so glad i walked away from them


ok, that's it for today ,, a big relief. 


report 
attitude     ...............   good
weight      ...............    154
tumor      ................     invisible
strength    ...............    A +
pain         ................     1.2     Zuzu's  leash / hand
overall     ...............     9.4

3 days went by quick

ooops ,,  sunday was my last post,,  i had cancer funk brain for a couple days....   i had a CT scan scheduled , for dec 12th, yesterday,   but didn't  do it...   i had it scheduled for my Dad,, he wanted me to  "get tested to see if it spread" ... the test is poison, so  no test for me.. now i have to tell him,  dang..

i can gain weight if i want to ,,  that's a good thing for  a cancer  victim ,, i am 154 this week,,  this is the most i've weighed for a while .. some of it might be muscle mass, the weights are starting to show more

i'm working 5 or 6 shifts a week , which is nice, but i liked not working at all ,, in june , july and august , much better ..  i have a few december comedy gigs, so that's  nice too...   i feel better now that i'm  able to get my bills paid .. yay 

back to the cancer...  to me ,, i feel like it 's ( cancer ) done  on me,,  the lump on my neck is scar tissue, it's not getting worse.the grapefruit  did NOT appear .....  my tonsils have not had any problems,  they look the same as they did ,  with no growths, or voice change..     i feel great ,,  last week would have been may last week of Chemo, if i had signed up for that .. they would want to "re-test" me in a few months.. i was told i'd be very close to death, so they could treat me..                   

 i currently am super -ALIVE ..  i just have to keep the funk out of my head..

i weenied -out, chickened out , retreated, backed into a corner, the last coupled of  days..  what a  wuss.. 
i felt weak about  the test / cancel / telling my dad. 

i have to keep focused on all the positive stuff happening, so i apologize  for  the absence .. 

current report

weight     ............... 154
attitude   ................ chicken
strength    .............. real good 
pain      ...................  .01
tumor   ...................  dead
overall ................... 8.3   

 

161 days -- pretty amazing

i started doing this .........http://healthfree.com/incurables_program_hydrotherapy.html

oh my , how it has energized my system..

after the first one i was giggling all day, i felt  so good,,   

when i started with the weights, i did  5 presses 5 curls,   3 times each,,,  160 days  later ,,   50 presses, 35 curls ,, 3 times  each,,,,, i do this while in the neck traction device,, 10 # dumbells,, just takes a few minutes,, 

the  bike peddling is the best thing,, gets the blood flowing, and good breathing,,, more  oxygen ..  


here is a neck pic,, it's been a while since i  posted one..

                1/2 inch above my finger tip.. it's hard to see, you have to touch it to find it...

when it was giant,, it was  from my ear lobe to where my finger is, and all that  space above, wider than my jaw line...

here's  something .......http://www.rawforbeauty.com/blog/477-qi-beat-cancer-with-a-raw-diet-and-holistic-lifestyleq.html


i did the right thing , i am going to , well to me , i already am , a -ok ,  cancer conqueror ...


it is messing with the wrong  guy

feeling MUCH better

happy friday everyone , i hope you all have great weekends.

yesterday i was an emotional mess,, caused by stress - my biggest enemy..

the future is not written,,,  a good statement , ( and a great movie about Joe Strummer ) ...   anyway ...

 i got myself swirled up in stressing out about a possible January event.. what a dumbass i am...  some nice talk with some great people  un-did my terror..   i will most likely  not try to do the NYC trip,,,    it would be great to go and speak about my "battle" , but  it's  a lot of  different things would have to "line up " to make the trip do-able ,,,   basically 4 days of travel & lodging for  an 8 minute  presentation ...

i'm still trying to dig out of my $$ hole,  so i should probably concentrate on local things that will not cost me  any additional   funds that i don't really have ...  

at work last night, one of the regular racers / comedy fans, came in... he hadn't seen me since May,,  he knew i "retired" in june, and was surprised to see me there,,  "you're back "  he  said ,,,  then from about 15 feet away he added,,  "" wow , have you been on vacation or something ?  You  look fantastic,, are you getting some  sun from somewhere?,,""  he knew of my old neck issues, and asked how that was going...  then i told him about the cancer ...          ""Whaaaaaaat !!,,, no way ""..     i gave  him the  quick story,, the good vibes flowing off him made me fell so good...  this  guy  has a great spirit, you just feel good talking to him, he's one of those  people...     the  boost in my whole attitude from talking with him, erased all the trama i put on my self earlier in the day ,,,  a good  dose  of  "tumor-be-gone",,,  

the  ' kicker' was him saying --  ""you need to tell people about this,,,  this  could be something big ""  ,,,   

and then the NYC  trip  went   "ding" , in my head..

i got another call from one of my dear friends, she's  a my  blog reader,, and she might be able to get me a place to stay, right downtown in Manhattan...  with her nephew..  


i'll decide on the NYC deal in a day or two, i need to get a few more details worked out.....  the  easiest , less stress full thing to do would be  "forget about it"  for january, and try to get in another one , in the future..  bam , done deal, stress  is gone,,  focus on food & vitamins,  relax 


D W  - ( darrell waltrip , nascar racer)  had many  "sayings" ,, one of them --- "95 % of what you worry about  DOESN'T  happen --- stay cool , it will be  OK"

today is another  great day in my life ,  #1 - i am alive and feel great , #2  so many people are helping me with this cancer battle, #3  i feel great,, and can work , eat , and poop normally  ..............  " winning " 

ok that's it for now,,  all positive , all good


here is a pic of my extensive work out gear..  

         15 # dumbells,   40 # barbell,  sit up/ crunch device, ball for reverse crunches, wood roller for feet bottoms,  in the mirror , you can see the red hanging bands, and the  stationary bike wheel .. NO gym, no excuses , everyday !!

and we will end today with these words ......

super , fantastic, wonderful, bliss, sunny, cheer, grace, gratitude, excited, thankful , appreciate , kindness, love, happiness, warm,  calm, sincere,  humble