did the surgeon just say "oops" ?

oh my , it's been  almost  two weeks,  i haven't worked, i'm on extended leave.  i hope i can afford to stay home until January.  i like not working, i must confess.

i thought i'd be mr chatty cathy  since i had no job , but the last 12 days have been  not wonderful.. the tumor senses it's doom, and i had  to stop taking all the supliments & additives , so the tumor is really putting a  hurt on me.. i do have enough pain pills,   and i hope  to get off these things  VERY soon after surgery, but the  pain  has been astronomical.  it physically hurts to eat, as the effected area is giant, so i've just been sleeping and  eating, sleeping and eating.  the last  few  nights the dang thing starts seeping while i'm asleep...   eeek , what's the stream of liquid i feel ???  it's a Tosh.0  candidate..  gruesome.  i wish it would completely explode,  then thursday , they could just mini-vac out what's left.  

i did go out and get one more show in,, last friday , at an eastside sports pub,, which usually doesn't work well,, " hi folks,  we know you worked your asses off all week, and you're here to drink , watch sports, and talk to your friends,   but  we are gonna  turn the TV's off, and ask that you don't  talk, but please  be courteous to the comics" .... and  the kitchen used  a "bell"  , like me , so i couldn't use mine.  super bummer..  

 but i just wanted to get some stage juice, and do a few minutes,, no guitar, go up early and get out.   the lighting was underpar,, the crowd was talkative , i was asking myself , why was i here ?? , i'm  "sick" with the cancer, full blown pain, wtf  ??  well, that's  the comic still left in me,,  if i stayed home, in just as much pain, knowing there was a show close by ,, i would have gone insane not going ,, what a spiral of thoughts.....    and  then --my set was awesome,, i had great action  100% , had the whole room,, fan-tas-tic!     GLAD  i did that..   and  one of my most favorite superFans , a Jem of a performer herself , was there !!  

so ,,  good thing   i did that set ..  then it was right back to  "sleepy the cancer" boy..    

i've been cleaning some too, but mostly  sleeping as much as possible

  i  am ready to get in there and  have them work their magic..   it must be wild  to cut into someone, and there will be 3 of them , as a team,,  i bet they are stoked to fix  me..      i want to see the blob in a jar !!!

so if you'd  like to do one more  Good Vibes Transmission , it's  going to be  early,  but  at 8 am , thursday ,  if  you'd like  to pause, maybe 15 seconds  , and  send the SURGERY  team some love and positive molecules...   that would be great...   your powerful vibes have been invigorating to me, so lets send the doctors & nurses some good JuJu too   

if  you've been doing the     11:11 -  smile for otto ,  i've been feeling them,, thanks !!

i am as ready as i can  be..  am i scared ??  well fuck yeah,, who wouldn't be..  it's natural..  (( let us not entertain any possible side effects  or  " dang , wish that didn't  happen"))    seriously -  i KNOW  everything will turn out   "way better than we thought it would go"..  so lets  stick  with ALL POSITIVES 

after the operation, i will have lots  of healing time, and i will have to stay  home,, so  expect more frequent blogging.  some entertaining stuff too..  i already  have a  list of topics started

i must get back to being creative.. 

 my mind is what i miss most

it's been the best 27 months  of my life..  the cancer part sucked BIG time,, but everything else has been beautiful..

most beautiful   -  you people,, yes you ,, some i haven't ever met , but those  vibes i ask for are felt,  i may not have talked to you in person, but  I've  felt you,, your thoughts  have melded into my being,, you  have changed the course of my life..  that's pretty cool...    i told  some  jokes,  sang a song or  two.   but     YOU  ,  you've helped save my life.

october is  a favorite month for me , Dad's  b day , Rapper's B day , Heather & I met oct 9th 2008- at a GearHeads show, Mary's b day, Esperanza "leaves" 10 /23,  and 10 /28 -   26 years of  sobriety..   
and now add 10 / 16 ~ Chop-Cut-Cancer..

i would never wish what i have on anybody,  "you don't want any of this  Dewey", but if you could be inside me for a zillionth of a second,,  your mind would be blown by the amount of love  you'd feel that is sent my way.


health report

weight                 136
strength                 98%
attitude               very good
pain                     10 + in spikes , constant 6
tumor                   it's ALIVE  

ok, ,, 

i humbly say thank you !  

oh my - the good vibes, the prayers, the $ fund,  the  quick positive messages ,they  have all added together to get  me through this .  i'd be so screwed  without  all of your help

                 Lil Buddy tellin me what's  what

ok,,  keep the love flowing , in every direction