it been a few days, i've been working and doing shows...
i'm a bit + stressed.. which is really bad.. this time it's over the NYC trip... my sister said i could use some of her husbands travel miles, and have free ticket to and from, which is great , but i'd still have to take a few days off from work,, it won't be "free" in NYC either,, parking - if i drive - I DON"T WANT to fly , but it would be safer? ... i'd need a place to stay, my special diet would be troublesome,all my pills would be a nightmare to the TSA , and a hotel would be too much for my budget, and just getting to the show could be trouble too... what if it snows really bad ?? i'd hate to make some one taxi me around, and if i flew out there , then i'd be paying real taxi's,, and i don't have that extra $ either.. i can always get in another show , later in the year, if the chance becomes available
ok,, typing all that out just helped....
# 2 stress this week,,,, my dad wants me to get the CT scan,,, i don't want to AT ALL,,, i know it will not go well - as in , i'm allergic to Iodine, and i'm positive i will have a really bad reaction to this one,, (( i had one at the start of all of this ,, but i went into it "blind" and was in- "" i'm taking all the tests mode"",,)) the bad reaction is already "in place" in my mind.. so far my mind has been pretty powerful in the right direction, and if it gets fuel to go bad, i think it will..
wow , i feel better already,,, thanks friendly readers, for letting me spew all this crap, all the time..
the internal chatter in my mind can help a lot, or bring me down quick .. i have to be careful about what kind of stress i'm loading into my system.. stress was my cancer trigger,, so i need to stay away ,, if it's choice ..
at 5 months from diagnosis, i better chill, and not take on too many projects
i'd be stupid to load myself up with too much at this point.. so far , the healing has been fantastic, i've simplified my life,, i'm focused on healing , that's my # 1 priority ,,, everything else should be on the back burner
i saw the chiropractor yesterday , on schedule, and he's still impressed with my progress, and overall situation... my neck pains that were creeping in last week were taken away with the two adjustments he makes.. whew,, what a relief
well , i feel way better than an hour ago...
health report ........
tumor .......... holding at same size
strength....... another plateau crossed
attitude ....... mostly good, some what if's
weight ........ 150 , all week,, i like 145 better
pain level..... .04
overall ........ 8.1 ~ the stress
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