cross this off

 it's been on my to do lists for weeks

almost one month since my last  update.  nothing amazing still .

i do like october , my dad's birthday , Rapper's  birthday , my sister Mary's b-day,  and my sobriety  b-day  10 -28-1988.   
25 years in just a few days...   years ago i joked about being able to drink again , if  i made it  25 years.   15 years ago, i chucked about the same  idea, "only  10 years to go".  July of 2012 , when i was assimilating all the cancer ideas, Rapper asked if i had  thought about  "alcohol therapy" , and i said  -   "if they are giving me Chemo , i am for sure drinking"

( another reason for me to not want  chemo ).

drinking was gonna kill me , or i was gonna ruin my life with it..  it's legal, but just not for me .  i haven't missed anything because i don't drink.  and not drinking was easy , just don't touch it, don't put it in your mouth.. taa daaa.. cured..  physically ..  took a few  years  for the mental aspect.   and the jury is still out on that  

i saw my mom put her last cigarette out, she said "
that's the last one "  and it was.  34 years of smoking , done in one second.    seeing that  has been my inspirational moment of all time .. anything can be done!!

so  switching my diet to  fight & erase my cancer was not difficult , i did that in 10 seconds.  and i'm still on it ,  & guess what  -  won't ever change

i'm not special, anyone can do  what i did.  when you are  ready to change your life ,  you will ..   some things help you decide,  some things keep you on the  same  path.

i haven't written because nothing out side of normal has been going on,, i'm just a worker bee , like most of you , wake up, do my routine, go to work, eat all day, practice, or do a show, walk the dog, freak out about the future, go to sleep.. 

things  don't  go my way all the  time , just like  you .  i went  to get a present for rapper , , my car died ,, my diagnosis - battery , cap , rotor,,  nope-  DANG .. , 3 days later , distributor... runs like a champ now.

leaky radiator, all summer, so i've been using straight water,  tomorrow it's gonna be 30 ... , i THOUGHT a new radiator would be $300 + , so i never looked,, ordered one last night $ 328 - sale price + free shipping  = $ 57...........
        57 !!    what  a dumbass i've been ,, $60 would have fixed me up months ago.. but i didn't look  

i've been thinking of the wrong stuff,, it was,  for so long , fight cancer, beat cancer , over and over.   blah.. then that got lifted off me .. my mind got free'd  up again.. 

in the last 15 months i did learn  how to relax . and do nothing. it was important to heal,   now,  my showbiz mind is re-activated, and i feel guilty if i  just relax.  ya gotta be  doing something !!!  tic tic tic ,, come on!! get something going ,,bla bla bla. 

 health wise ,  super good 

weight                   146
pain                      barely, not stretching enough
attitude,.              better . i got this blog written
strength                added more reps to the weights

cancer thoughts..   frequently ,    and  3 months until 18 from diagnosis..   pretty wacky 


when i got diagnosed, my comedy mind, thought ,, "wow, all this new material"  , but  nope,, not too much funny stuff about cancer..  funny to ME , but not the general public..  so i'll keep my mouth shut 


i did get to  tell my story last week to a small group who actually wanted to hear it.  i wish i could  do that  professionally ..

and i was having trouble with "life's general purpose"   we can talk about that next time ,,


stay healthy , and don't let your taste buds  fool  you