we had the company xmas party last night,, there was one of those gift grab/exchanges.. i submitted one of my Poor Man's GPS,,,, the exchange was about 1/2 over ,,, one of the cashier gals had lotto tickets , so i stole them from her ,,,, with her new pick , she picked the GPS ,,,,she had no clue what it was,, it was awesome, she hated it , and tried to give it away at each draw,,, some one else took my lotto tickets , so i took the GPS back from her, and she got a new pick from the table.... walking to the table she says.... """oh my god , i'm so glad to get rid of that stupid thing""" ,, she got a super cool garden knome..
the cloudy days are hard to get moving ,, cold & rainy , no thanks,, the dogs go nuts inside if we don't get to go walking,.
what a relief it is to be free from the doctors. now i feel like i just wasted 5 months thinking all the bad thoughts about "having cancer" ...
ok, i'm really happy about everything .. it's all good ,,
another thank you!!!!!!! to the Pogues Run food angel or angels !!!!! .. it is so very nice , and it makes me feel so good
feeling great , thanks for all the good vibes
Monday, December 17, 2012
Saturday, December 15, 2012
big moment , really happy
i am calm, finally . i talked to my Dad,, he's ok with no CT test.
that was the last "hurdle " for me ... i feel like i'm free now..
i did eat too much last week, and i am up to 154.. i feel chubby today,, just a few weeks ago i was in the low 140's... it was kind of an experiment,,, i wanted to see if i could gain weight - and i can
well it's all systems GO now !!!!
i am free from the cancer industry !!!
if i was under their "care" , i'd be re-tested in a few months,, and on a side by side comparison,, my treatment has been much better than what they offered.... i am so glad i walked away from them
ok, that's it for today ,, a big relief.
report
attitude ............... good
weight ............... 154
tumor ................ invisible
strength ............... A +
pain ................ 1.2 Zuzu's leash / hand
overall ............... 9.4
that was the last "hurdle " for me ... i feel like i'm free now..
i did eat too much last week, and i am up to 154.. i feel chubby today,, just a few weeks ago i was in the low 140's... it was kind of an experiment,,, i wanted to see if i could gain weight - and i can
well it's all systems GO now !!!!
i am free from the cancer industry !!!
if i was under their "care" , i'd be re-tested in a few months,, and on a side by side comparison,, my treatment has been much better than what they offered.... i am so glad i walked away from them
ok, that's it for today ,, a big relief.
report
attitude ............... good
weight ............... 154
tumor ................ invisible
strength ............... A +
pain ................ 1.2 Zuzu's leash / hand
overall ............... 9.4
Thursday, December 13, 2012
3 days went by quick
ooops ,, sunday was my last post,, i had cancer funk brain for a couple days.... i had a CT scan scheduled , for dec 12th, yesterday, but didn't do it... i had it scheduled for my Dad,, he wanted me to "get tested to see if it spread" ... the test is poison, so no test for me.. now i have to tell him, dang..
i can gain weight if i want to ,, that's a good thing for a cancer victim ,, i am 154 this week,, this is the most i've weighed for a while .. some of it might be muscle mass, the weights are starting to show more
i'm working 5 or 6 shifts a week , which is nice, but i liked not working at all ,, in june , july and august , much better .. i have a few december comedy gigs, so that's nice too... i feel better now that i'm able to get my bills paid .. yay
back to the cancer... to me ,, i feel like it 's ( cancer ) done on me,, the lump on my neck is scar tissue, it's not getting worse.the grapefruit did NOT appear ..... my tonsils have not had any problems, they look the same as they did , with no growths, or voice change.. i feel great ,, last week would have been may last week of Chemo, if i had signed up for that .. they would want to "re-test" me in a few months.. i was told i'd be very close to death, so they could treat me..
i currently am super -ALIVE .. i just have to keep the funk out of my head..
i weenied -out, chickened out , retreated, backed into a corner, the last coupled of days.. what a wuss..
i felt weak about the test / cancel / telling my dad.
i have to keep focused on all the positive stuff happening, so i apologize for the absence ..
current report
weight ............... 154
attitude ................ chicken
strength .............. real good
pain ................... .01
tumor ................... dead
overall ................... 8.3
i can gain weight if i want to ,, that's a good thing for a cancer victim ,, i am 154 this week,, this is the most i've weighed for a while .. some of it might be muscle mass, the weights are starting to show more
i'm working 5 or 6 shifts a week , which is nice, but i liked not working at all ,, in june , july and august , much better .. i have a few december comedy gigs, so that's nice too... i feel better now that i'm able to get my bills paid .. yay
back to the cancer... to me ,, i feel like it 's ( cancer ) done on me,, the lump on my neck is scar tissue, it's not getting worse.the grapefruit did NOT appear ..... my tonsils have not had any problems, they look the same as they did , with no growths, or voice change.. i feel great ,, last week would have been may last week of Chemo, if i had signed up for that .. they would want to "re-test" me in a few months.. i was told i'd be very close to death, so they could treat me..
i currently am super -ALIVE .. i just have to keep the funk out of my head..
i weenied -out, chickened out , retreated, backed into a corner, the last coupled of days.. what a wuss..
i felt weak about the test / cancel / telling my dad.
i have to keep focused on all the positive stuff happening, so i apologize for the absence ..
current report
weight ............... 154
attitude ................ chicken
strength .............. real good
pain ................... .01
tumor ................... dead
overall ................... 8.3
Sunday, December 9, 2012
161 days -- pretty amazing
i started doing this .........http://healthfree.com/incurables_program_hydrotherapy.html
oh my , how it has energized my system..
after the first one i was giggling all day, i felt so good,,
when i started with the weights, i did 5 presses 5 curls, 3 times each,,, 160 days later ,, 50 presses, 35 curls ,, 3 times each,,,,, i do this while in the neck traction device,, 10 # dumbells,, just takes a few minutes,,
the bike peddling is the best thing,, gets the blood flowing, and good breathing,,, more oxygen ..
here is a neck pic,, it's been a while since i posted one..
1/2 inch above my finger tip.. it's hard to see, you have to touch it to find it...
when it was giant,, it was from my ear lobe to where my finger is, and all that space above, wider than my jaw line...
here's something .......http://www.rawforbeauty.com/blog/477-qi-beat-cancer-with-a-raw-diet-and-holistic-lifestyleq.html
i did the right thing , i am going to , well to me , i already am , a -ok , cancer conqueror ...
it is messing with the wrong guy
oh my , how it has energized my system..
after the first one i was giggling all day, i felt so good,,
when i started with the weights, i did 5 presses 5 curls, 3 times each,,, 160 days later ,, 50 presses, 35 curls ,, 3 times each,,,,, i do this while in the neck traction device,, 10 # dumbells,, just takes a few minutes,,
the bike peddling is the best thing,, gets the blood flowing, and good breathing,,, more oxygen ..
here is a neck pic,, it's been a while since i posted one..
when it was giant,, it was from my ear lobe to where my finger is, and all that space above, wider than my jaw line...
here's something .......http://www.rawforbeauty.com/blog/477-qi-beat-cancer-with-a-raw-diet-and-holistic-lifestyleq.html
i did the right thing , i am going to , well to me , i already am , a -ok , cancer conqueror ...
it is messing with the wrong guy
Friday, December 7, 2012
feeling MUCH better
happy friday everyone , i hope you all have great weekends.
yesterday i was an emotional mess,, caused by stress - my biggest enemy..
the future is not written,,, a good statement , ( and a great movie about Joe Strummer ) ... anyway ...
i got myself swirled up in stressing out about a possible January event.. what a dumbass i am... some nice talk with some great people un-did my terror.. i will most likely not try to do the NYC trip,,, it would be great to go and speak about my "battle" , but it's a lot of different things would have to "line up " to make the trip do-able ,,, basically 4 days of travel & lodging for an 8 minute presentation ...
i'm still trying to dig out of my $$ hole, so i should probably concentrate on local things that will not cost me any additional funds that i don't really have ...
at work last night, one of the regular racers / comedy fans, came in... he hadn't seen me since May,, he knew i "retired" in june, and was surprised to see me there,, "you're back " he said ,,, then from about 15 feet away he added,, "" wow , have you been on vacation or something ? You look fantastic,, are you getting some sun from somewhere?,,"" he knew of my old neck issues, and asked how that was going... then i told him about the cancer ... ""Whaaaaaaat !!,,, no way "".. i gave him the quick story,, the good vibes flowing off him made me fell so good... this guy has a great spirit, you just feel good talking to him, he's one of those people... the boost in my whole attitude from talking with him, erased all the trama i put on my self earlier in the day ,,, a good dose of "tumor-be-gone",,,
the ' kicker' was him saying -- ""you need to tell people about this,,, this could be something big "" ,,,
and then the NYC trip went "ding" , in my head..
i got another call from one of my dear friends, she's a my blog reader,, and she might be able to get me a place to stay, right downtown in Manhattan... with her nephew..
i'll decide on the NYC deal in a day or two, i need to get a few more details worked out..... the easiest , less stress full thing to do would be "forget about it" for january, and try to get in another one , in the future.. bam , done deal, stress is gone,, focus on food & vitamins, relax
D W - ( darrell waltrip , nascar racer) had many "sayings" ,, one of them --- "95 % of what you worry about DOESN'T happen --- stay cool , it will be OK"
today is another great day in my life , #1 - i am alive and feel great , #2 so many people are helping me with this cancer battle, #3 i feel great,, and can work , eat , and poop normally .............. " winning "
ok that's it for now,, all positive , all good
here is a pic of my extensive work out gear..
15 # dumbells, 40 # barbell, sit up/ crunch device, ball for reverse crunches, wood roller for feet bottoms, in the mirror , you can see the red hanging bands, and the stationary bike wheel .. NO gym, no excuses , everyday !!
and we will end today with these words ......
super , fantastic, wonderful, bliss, sunny, cheer, grace, gratitude, excited, thankful , appreciate , kindness, love, happiness, warm, calm, sincere, humble
yesterday i was an emotional mess,, caused by stress - my biggest enemy..
the future is not written,,, a good statement , ( and a great movie about Joe Strummer ) ... anyway ...
i got myself swirled up in stressing out about a possible January event.. what a dumbass i am... some nice talk with some great people un-did my terror.. i will most likely not try to do the NYC trip,,, it would be great to go and speak about my "battle" , but it's a lot of different things would have to "line up " to make the trip do-able ,,, basically 4 days of travel & lodging for an 8 minute presentation ...
i'm still trying to dig out of my $$ hole, so i should probably concentrate on local things that will not cost me any additional funds that i don't really have ...
at work last night, one of the regular racers / comedy fans, came in... he hadn't seen me since May,, he knew i "retired" in june, and was surprised to see me there,, "you're back " he said ,,, then from about 15 feet away he added,, "" wow , have you been on vacation or something ? You look fantastic,, are you getting some sun from somewhere?,,"" he knew of my old neck issues, and asked how that was going... then i told him about the cancer ... ""Whaaaaaaat !!,,, no way "".. i gave him the quick story,, the good vibes flowing off him made me fell so good... this guy has a great spirit, you just feel good talking to him, he's one of those people... the boost in my whole attitude from talking with him, erased all the trama i put on my self earlier in the day ,,, a good dose of "tumor-be-gone",,,
the ' kicker' was him saying -- ""you need to tell people about this,,, this could be something big "" ,,,
and then the NYC trip went "ding" , in my head..
i got another call from one of my dear friends, she's a my blog reader,, and she might be able to get me a place to stay, right downtown in Manhattan... with her nephew..
i'll decide on the NYC deal in a day or two, i need to get a few more details worked out..... the easiest , less stress full thing to do would be "forget about it" for january, and try to get in another one , in the future.. bam , done deal, stress is gone,, focus on food & vitamins, relax
D W - ( darrell waltrip , nascar racer) had many "sayings" ,, one of them --- "95 % of what you worry about DOESN'T happen --- stay cool , it will be OK"
today is another great day in my life , #1 - i am alive and feel great , #2 so many people are helping me with this cancer battle, #3 i feel great,, and can work , eat , and poop normally .............. " winning "
ok that's it for now,, all positive , all good
here is a pic of my extensive work out gear..
and we will end today with these words ......
super , fantastic, wonderful, bliss, sunny, cheer, grace, gratitude, excited, thankful , appreciate , kindness, love, happiness, warm, calm, sincere, humble
Thursday, December 6, 2012
don't mees with stress
it been a few days, i've been working and doing shows...
i'm a bit + stressed.. which is really bad.. this time it's over the NYC trip... my sister said i could use some of her husbands travel miles, and have free ticket to and from, which is great , but i'd still have to take a few days off from work,, it won't be "free" in NYC either,, parking - if i drive - I DON"T WANT to fly , but it would be safer? ... i'd need a place to stay, my special diet would be troublesome,all my pills would be a nightmare to the TSA , and a hotel would be too much for my budget, and just getting to the show could be trouble too... what if it snows really bad ?? i'd hate to make some one taxi me around, and if i flew out there , then i'd be paying real taxi's,, and i don't have that extra $ either.. i can always get in another show , later in the year, if the chance becomes available
ok,, typing all that out just helped....
# 2 stress this week,,,, my dad wants me to get the CT scan,,, i don't want to AT ALL,,, i know it will not go well - as in , i'm allergic to Iodine, and i'm positive i will have a really bad reaction to this one,, (( i had one at the start of all of this ,, but i went into it "blind" and was in- "" i'm taking all the tests mode"",,)) the bad reaction is already "in place" in my mind.. so far my mind has been pretty powerful in the right direction, and if it gets fuel to go bad, i think it will..
wow , i feel better already,,, thanks friendly readers, for letting me spew all this crap, all the time..
the internal chatter in my mind can help a lot, or bring me down quick .. i have to be careful about what kind of stress i'm loading into my system.. stress was my cancer trigger,, so i need to stay away ,, if it's choice ..
at 5 months from diagnosis, i better chill, and not take on too many projects
i'd be stupid to load myself up with too much at this point.. so far , the healing has been fantastic, i've simplified my life,, i'm focused on healing , that's my # 1 priority ,,, everything else should be on the back burner
i saw the chiropractor yesterday , on schedule, and he's still impressed with my progress, and overall situation... my neck pains that were creeping in last week were taken away with the two adjustments he makes.. whew,, what a relief
well , i feel way better than an hour ago...
health report ........
tumor .......... holding at same size
strength....... another plateau crossed
attitude ....... mostly good, some what if's
weight ........ 150 , all week,, i like 145 better
pain level..... .04
overall ........ 8.1 ~ the stress
i'm a bit + stressed.. which is really bad.. this time it's over the NYC trip... my sister said i could use some of her husbands travel miles, and have free ticket to and from, which is great , but i'd still have to take a few days off from work,, it won't be "free" in NYC either,, parking - if i drive - I DON"T WANT to fly , but it would be safer? ... i'd need a place to stay, my special diet would be troublesome,all my pills would be a nightmare to the TSA , and a hotel would be too much for my budget, and just getting to the show could be trouble too... what if it snows really bad ?? i'd hate to make some one taxi me around, and if i flew out there , then i'd be paying real taxi's,, and i don't have that extra $ either.. i can always get in another show , later in the year, if the chance becomes available
ok,, typing all that out just helped....
# 2 stress this week,,,, my dad wants me to get the CT scan,,, i don't want to AT ALL,,, i know it will not go well - as in , i'm allergic to Iodine, and i'm positive i will have a really bad reaction to this one,, (( i had one at the start of all of this ,, but i went into it "blind" and was in- "" i'm taking all the tests mode"",,)) the bad reaction is already "in place" in my mind.. so far my mind has been pretty powerful in the right direction, and if it gets fuel to go bad, i think it will..
wow , i feel better already,,, thanks friendly readers, for letting me spew all this crap, all the time..
the internal chatter in my mind can help a lot, or bring me down quick .. i have to be careful about what kind of stress i'm loading into my system.. stress was my cancer trigger,, so i need to stay away ,, if it's choice ..
at 5 months from diagnosis, i better chill, and not take on too many projects
i'd be stupid to load myself up with too much at this point.. so far , the healing has been fantastic, i've simplified my life,, i'm focused on healing , that's my # 1 priority ,,, everything else should be on the back burner
i saw the chiropractor yesterday , on schedule, and he's still impressed with my progress, and overall situation... my neck pains that were creeping in last week were taken away with the two adjustments he makes.. whew,, what a relief
well , i feel way better than an hour ago...
health report ........
tumor .......... holding at same size
strength....... another plateau crossed
attitude ....... mostly good, some what if's
weight ........ 150 , all week,, i like 145 better
pain level..... .04
overall ........ 8.1 ~ the stress
Monday, December 3, 2012
water is really good stuff
dec 3rd, and its above 60 degrees . awesome.. for me, warm weather makes my day,,,
months ago, i thought december was really gonna be bad, struck down by cancer, and battered by treatment ..
but look at me now !!!!
hilarious ..
groups of seconds,, that's what memories are,, good or bad,, today , feeling super great, the group of seconds when my mind said .....
""you are not gonna let the cancer industry touch you, you are gonna eat your way out of this....""
and Leonard Cohen would say ........................
that was close, august 1st..
MORE thank you's to my pogues run food angel, or angels !!! that's where i get my life saving foods, and then the big burst of love when they say ..... you have another gift card loaded... i am truely blessed , i am very lucky people like me for some reason
5 full months since diagnosis,, what a trip... i feel the best i ever have in my whole life.. i look better than ever too.. from what people are saying... my mind is over the super-cancer-freakout stage .... it's all smooth sailing now.....
ok ,
super cool, don't be a fool.........
months ago, i thought december was really gonna be bad, struck down by cancer, and battered by treatment ..
but look at me now !!!!
hilarious ..
groups of seconds,, that's what memories are,, good or bad,, today , feeling super great, the group of seconds when my mind said .....
""you are not gonna let the cancer industry touch you, you are gonna eat your way out of this....""
and Leonard Cohen would say ........................
that was close, august 1st..
MORE thank you's to my pogues run food angel, or angels !!! that's where i get my life saving foods, and then the big burst of love when they say ..... you have another gift card loaded... i am truely blessed , i am very lucky people like me for some reason
5 full months since diagnosis,, what a trip... i feel the best i ever have in my whole life.. i look better than ever too.. from what people are saying... my mind is over the super-cancer-freakout stage .... it's all smooth sailing now.....
ok ,
super cool, don't be a fool.........
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