i haven't written in a few days, you have missed nothing .
i'm working "shifts" , not too much stress, i enjoy being home
overall i'm a very happy person now. super healthy too
last year in July was all the tests and doctor visits, once August comes, "cancer" will be one year behind me. i don't want to constantly be comparing this year to last year. this year is fantastic.......
i'd like more comedy or music gigs. they make me feel special
ZuZu has been gone just over one month. i think Bella misses her a lot . Heather says Bella likes the calm .. i haven't figured out exactly why ZuZu entertained me so much...i'm pretty sure she reminds me of Esperanza as a puppy.. same color , energy for days !! , and the happy smiley face.
here she is co-piloting.. like Esperanza
here is one of her room mates - Roxie
ZuZu looks like she'd like some of that
when i walk Bella , i think of all these fantastic things to blog about.. then i blank out , and post nothing ...... i hope to get back writing almost everyday.
one of the nice people at Pogues said she read my entire blog in one day ( 5 1/2 hours )... eeeek
clarification - all the people at Pogues are nice , one of them read the whole thing
chasing carrots is wacky , Costco has the best deal 10 lbs 6.99 = 70 cents a lb.. kroger's "organic" if you believe it to be , are 88 cents a lb. organic carrots at Pogues are 1.36 a pound.. at 40 pounds a week, this price difference adds up ~ per year
costco is on the way to work, and it's a 14 minute stop, i get broccoli and avocados there too.. pretty harmless, and the cashiers know why i'm buying all the carrots, so i get a good up lifting buzz from that... Kroger is a nightmare , my local one seems all beat up, and they don't have stuff frequently. it's really close , 3 minutes there , 8 minutes to shop , 3 minutes back, but it's an icky experience most times. Kroger has apples cheaper too. Pogues is fantastic !!! it's almost like getting off stage , the wonderful feeling i get there. i get almost everything from Pogues, it is also really close . and the ride across 10th street is always entertaining . i go to Pogues 3 to 5 times a week.
blabbitty blabbitty boo
that's all folks
oh that feels good.........................
July 2nd, last year i got the "you have cancer call"
**** 12 month review
i'm super smiley , healthy as ever, in no pain, & cancer free.
i've lost 17 lbs, all of it "bad weight" , i'm a constant 146.
when i got the "call" , i kinda went nuts, the blog can confirm that .
having health insurance ( and everyone will be forced to have soon ) got me introduced to the Cancer Industry. The doctors and nurses do want to help , they studied for years, and are skilled professionals . But they are bound by what the Insurance & Cancer Industry dictates . i refused the 3 choices , surgery , radiation , and chemotherapy. i didn't believe those would help me. i also didn't like the experience of the cancer center. my ranting against the cancer industry was just my opinion, and i apologize for hurting anyone by that.
some people say i'm an inspiration. i really don't see it as such. i got sick, researched the treatments , chose one that i believed in, stuck to it !! and it worked. kinda simple
my treatment tasted really good
but not covered by health insurance, shucks
and actually - physically , nothing ever bad happened the entire time. i started feeling better immediately after switching to the correct diet ( july 2nd - alkaline foods) .
what got me was the mental side of it.. that's why i started the blog. if i didn't let all this out , it would have tuned into more poison against me .. The - "you have cancer and it's gonna kill you" is what is played over and over and over & over , in all the medias. you can't get away from it
pink
it WAS a roller coaster, and i got to the end with both hands up & laughing. but there's no way i'm getting back on. and the line keeps getting longer
i used the paddle ball as a metaphor. whap whap whap, the ball is cancer thoughts and the paddle is my brain. even if you can have some no cancer thoughts, the ball is attached, and soon enough , bam bam bam , cancer , cancer , cancer , bam bam bam cancer cancer cancer .. all day all night . lucky for me it was all in my head
what did i learn ???
* my body is stronger than my mind
* positive thoughts bring more positive actions
* love is the answer, and people are full of it
* simplicity is the cure all
* if you ask for help , people will
how much did it cost ?
** between $500 and $700 a month , all food , no medicine
and how do i feel now ........... zippety-do-da !! heels clicking together, two thumbs up, and a smile so big it hurts.
summing up . i can't advise people to do what i've done. i can encourage them to research the different treatment options and choose one they believe in.
i'm really happy i chose my path, beside the mental funk , which was self induced, my life got better daily and still is .
the prayers and positive energy that people shared with me were also a big part of healing. i thank you all
if you ever want to donate $ to a "cancer cause", instead of giving it away to "The Cause" , give that $ directly to a cancer patient. they are everywhere, and you probably know one right now................... it will help so much more , and immediately
here's my motto .. i say this at the end of my show ..
be nice
to as many people as you can
as often as you can
it's absolutely free
i'll be nice to you
and you'll be nice to me
and just like tag
if we start tonight
tomorrow will be a better world
ding !
thank you again , food angel.
last night i had 2 shows, the early one was a benefit show, full of love. i had a great time, super uplifting.
drove right to the 2nd show , sports bar , music & comedy.
what a difference !!! i had another great time, but the "love" level was much lower in the bar,, as should be expected...
the place was really big, maybe 100 ppl spread about. it's funny to me, that one group of audience can love ya, and 20 feet away, another group is planning a gang style "Jump In".
i know that i "was in their bar" , but come on, a small amount of common courtesy , just once won't kill you.
one guy at the bar kept yelling out, so i told him,, "hey - just like when your wife is talking to you , and you don't pay attention and just sit there, try that with me " ..
i usually power through "comments" , but this guy needed some feedback..
last year at this time i was waiting on the biopsy results.
what a year it's been
i want to thank you all for the positive thoughts, vibes , prayers, and well-wishes . i'm two thumbs up because of you all
see you in july !
a few days ago it was my birthday. 55 . yowza !! i still feel like a kid. i'm in the best health ever , so the future should be wide open. i had an interesting year
Bella misses ZuZu, me too. i'm watching her progress on facepoop. she looks pretty happy.
now that "fight cancer" isn't repeating over and over & over and over, i feel like i have some free time.
i'm not feeling super creative though. i feel good relaxing, and getting better at guitar.
my goal of the everyday is to stay relaxed, don't stress, be smiley and eat right
here's my smirk face ......
feeling good about what i did
health report
weight ....................146
strength.................. better still
attitude .................. confused
pain ....................... none
overall .................. 8.7
positivity , that's the key
although i miss ZuZu , i know she's gonna have a much happier life. man is it calm around here now . Bella is a very chilled out soul, she seems more relaxed too.
not having the cancer cloud over me feels just great
i will stay on the same food program, but i don't have the intensity of getting every meal exactly right. every pill at the exact time, etc. i don't have to erase any cancer , i just have to keep to away - a much easier task
health report
weight ................ 146
attitude .............. real good
pain .................. .o2
strength ........... excellent
overall .............. 9.0
more sadness, dang.
my brother is my best friend. always has been. His best friend / dog - Joy , passed away today. she was almost 13 years old, and being an 80 pound Irish Setter, so, in dog years , she was almost 150.
we all have heavy hearts today. loosing a family member isn't easy
Joy was the perfect name for her..
now go find Faye , Simone, & Esperanza, i'm sure there's a chuck-it in the air right now
holoholo = hawaiin word for - glide with life.
we are all in our "life" canoes , all in the same water, so every paddle i make, makes a wake, and eventually, ends up hitting your canoe. so i try to be a happy paddler , gently easing my oar into everyone's ocean. our wakes combine to move us forward or sometimes backward. i've learned you can not get anywhere frantic paddling. it's loud, it looks foolish, and it makes a horrible wake, that others will feel.
with last weeks news , naturally i'm pretty happy. then yesterday, a big pile of sadness, so soon ?
our little buddy ZuZu moved to Casa Del Toro, a pit bull rescue and placement center. i am selfishly sad, broken hearted , i have become such good friends with her, and to see her leave was brutal. She was just too much for us. She needs a specific owner, some one who can spend the correct amount of time with her. Last august ,she arrived here in horrible shape , she was obviously a "yard dog" , and only weighed about 20 pounds. her collar was so tight , that her fur was wearing off. it made me sick, i had to help if i could.. so she ended up staying with us, and Bella and her became best of friends. They were my cancer buddies, walking them took my mind off of my situation for a few minutes. I have received so much entertainment from the two of them.
we know that ZuZu will be much better off in the years to come, so i balance that against my selfish sadness of missing her.
when Esperanza died, i was super sad, but there was closure. She went to doggie heaven, and i had to get over it. But i knew nothing bad would ever happen to her.. With ZuZu leaving , i have these blipps of fear about what if something bad happens.. even years from now, is it on me?, because we let her move on ?
stupid thinking , i know , but Lil ZuZu is just so adorable.. i'm sure she had a fun packed first day at her new home.. Bella was very relaxed today, no little devil-dog trying to play every second.
here she is .. 30 pounds of Dyno-Might !!!
i have really become attached to her, i can't tell if Bella is sad or relieved.
okee dokie,, that's what you get today
health report
weight ............... 146
attitude.............. very good
pain .................. zero
strength............. good
overall............... 9.1
